Thursday 15 June 2017

Things I EAT and HOW

This is an exhaustive list of most of the things I eat. I have been very careful to include, how I like to eat certain types of food. This list was created especially for people who care to cook for me or care to host me. I would never insist on anyone pandering to these conditions, I would just politely refuse to eat if I do not like something or I would place my own order.

I do not like to Share food however, if I have company I will offer, and  if you choose to eat, please make sure that you take the food in your own plate, using an untouched fork or spoon or use the serving spoon.

Breakfast

Eggs (fried on both sides); the yolk should be fried.
Egg white fried
Pork or chicken cocktail Sausages, Bacon, Salami (pork)
Bread white/Brown – Needs to be soft
Amul Butter or President butter.
Cheese Amul, Britannia, Cheddar, (block cheese only) needs to be grated.
Cheese Grilled sandwiches
Sandwiches may contain fried pork / chicken sausages and bacon.
Cheese Sada Dosa or Butter Sada Dosa, Medhu Vada (Indian donuts) no gravy / sauces
French fries, potato wedges, hash browns

Starters
All chicken, Mutton and fish starters, except prawns, lobster, or any shell fish
Some of my favorite are Chicken tikka, Chicken tangdi Kabab, Tandoori chicken
Schezwan tandoori chicken, Mutton / chicken Seekh kebab + other starters such as
Chilly Chicken dry, Manchurian chicken dry, Chicken Satay, Crispy Thread chicken
Chicken lollipops / Apple chicken

Fried Fish, Pomfret fry, Fish Koliwada, Bombils, Fish and chips

Main Course
Chicken Kadai, Angara, Patalia, Butter Chicken, Chicken Kolhapuri
Chicken Tikka Masala + other chicken dishes. Beef or chicken crumb chops with mashed potatoes and grilled vegetables

Butter nans, roomali rotis, butter rotis, Chapattis, phulkas with butter

Chicken Hakka Noodles, Chicken fried rice
Burnt chilly chicken fried rice, Szechuan Chicken Hakka noodles
Szechuan Chicken fried rice, Chicken Manchurian, Chilly chicken and some other Chinese gravies. (DO NOT LIKE SWEET Gravies)

Any Fish curry spicy or tangy
Jeera Rice, White Basmati rice (grains should be separated)
Dal (only at home), Roast Beef (only at home) or certain restaurants.

Burgers
Should contain only the bread, Burger Pattie (Beef) cheese and butter, no other ingredients or sauces

Pizza
The Base dough + Cheese + Meat ONLY – No pizza sauces of any kind
example: Quattro Fromaggi

Snacks
Mutton patties (A1 bakery), Cheese puffs, Cheese croissants, Chicken lollypops
Chicken shorema with chicken and fried potatoes only, Chicken Frankie with chicken and onions only, Potato bajjias

Vegetables: - OH Yes! I Do Eat Vegetables!!!
Onion, cucumbers, lettuce, green beans, carrots spinach, broccoli, zucchini, eggplant slices (fried in batter)
Stir Fry veggies or Grilled... Not the cooked kind as in vegetable dishes.

Juices
Orange, Sweet lime, Watermelon, Apple, Mango and Grape

Fruits
Watermelon, Plums, Pears, Apples (crunchy, not the cotton textured ones)
Grapes, Strawberries
, Blue berries. Any berries and cherries
Oranges, and Pineapple 


What I DO NOT like: I have mentioned it a couple of times throughout this post.

NO SAUCES: White sauce, pizza sauce ....Only pepper sauce on a sizzler is cool.

No Ketchup, chutney, or mince 

Gastronomical Idiosyncrasies and the X files


People have often asked me about my food habits and I have either directed them to a detailed list of the things I eat, click here --> THINGS I EAT and HOW OR  I have referred them to the No touching Brumotactillophobia post I wrote a couple of years ago. Link: Brumotactillophobia

I however have failed to mention a very important caveat in this whole food conundrum. I do eat everything on the list I have provided, however the way I eat is what I have failed to mention, this leaves the people who wish to bring me some food stumped when I tell them I would not be able to eat what they bring, although it is something that I had mentioned on the list.

I am a 100% sure that you are either confused or have the Oh! Heavens expression, So if you are brave enough to understand what I mean and wish to read further …or let me put it into context, if you have absolutely nothing to do in life and my post is the only source to kill time, post counting the spots on the wall, watching paint dry or waiting for a 3GB file to download on a 256KBPS connection, you may read on at your own risk. (Disclaimer made, I am safe).

I have certain rules I follow, and if you need to understand WHY or how did I come up with such rules, you will have a better chance getting the exact date the universe came into existence, or have all the answers to the following questions. Click on the link Unexplained Files

My name would have been at number 1, however not many readers get past the 1st paragraph to care to vote for me. I have now managed to get through 3 paragraphs without explaining anything much like our revered leaders on our planet. So getting back to the rules that I follow, there aren’t many but it’s something I live by.

  1. I love home cooked meals and those meals need to be had only at home. This means that if you have prepared something that I love and you pack it in tiffin, I will not eat it, WHY? – No reason. However there is hope, if the meal is packed in a tiffin or a container and I do not see it packed in a tiffin and that meal is now unpacked and served to me on a plate, I will eat it.
  2. I will eat food packed in a container if it brought from a restaurant - Not Logical, doesn’t support point number 1, I know.
  3. If great food is cooked and it is then put into the fridge, I will not take it out from the fridge and reheat it. Once it goes in, it goes in and never comes out. However the same loophole is applicable, I will eat it if it is given to me.
  4. I rarely eat left over food that is parceled at a restaurant. I need to be in the mood to eat it.
  5. I do not drink liquor but I love liquor chocolates.
  6. The rice that is cooked should not be sticky or lumpy. I like the grains separated.
  7. Meat should be soft, and not chewy.
  8. I hate the fat on meat and the skin on the chicken, it should be removed completely.
  9. I will clean my plate and my fork at a restaurant or any place outside my house.
  10. I dislike drinking any beverage in a glass; especially outside and I would prefer drinking it directly from the bottle.

So the top 10 things that are pretty annoying, however I do occasionally make exceptions to rule numbers 1,2 and 3, when and why do I do it, is something only God can explain.
If you have met me and have noticed anything other than the rules I have mentioned do let me know so that I can help some people who care or dare to understand my illogical complex mind know me better.

Thursday 1 June 2017

How Could She ?

My life was beautiful, it was perfect in every way possible. I felt invincible, proud, secure and blessed. A few moons ago I experienced the most brutal, unimaginable, shocking event in my life. I felt my heart shred and liquefy instantly into a sea of oblivion. My brain convulsed and froze my thoughts were an aposiopesis of the purest form, a series of disjointed feelings and words relegated into limbo of lost words.

I lay motionless trying to fathom why and how this could have happened.

I couldn't believe that she could do this to me. Were my feelings not considered ? Did she not know how I felt?  How could she?... Were the 3 words that kept ringing in my head. She knew how I felt, she knew everything and still she went ahead and did that dastardly deed.

Once she started she couldn't stop and before she knew it she had got in too deep to make any amends. I could see her guilt ridden face mask her surreptitious smile. She could have stopped to think about it, but she didn't, with conscious callousness and obduration she forged ahead, one bit at a time until it was over. She relished every bit of it and looked unapologetic.

She made a perfunctory attempt to apologise, but it oozed insincerity and apathy. 

I was livid and incredibly hurt but I loved her too much to hold a grudge. I have forgiven her, but the question I will always have is... How could she eat my biryani???