Dr.D, the guard and the fly

The terrific trifecta of superheroes has bailed my wife and me out of jams more times than I care to admit. We're not exactly proud of our deceptive strategies, but hey, it's one way to stay sane when N keeps us on our toes 24/7. 

I can't speak for B, but I've definitely self-certified as a professional ballerina. Kids are way smarter than we give them credit for, and N is currently making 700+ synaptic connections per second. It won't be long before she calls our bluff. We need to be prepared and up our game, but for now, we're milking this until the cows come home.

Introductions

Dr. D is N's pediatrician. We've convinced her that he sits in our lobby with a syringe, ready to be summoned whenever there's a food consumption crisis, excessive screen time, or toys that need picking up. We even make video calls to him (using a picture from the Internet) when there's a fuss about hydration. We almost got caught when N asked the doctor to clap for her, but we were saved by a sudden Wi-Fi disruption caused by 'The Guard.'

The Guard is the security guy in the lobby. N believes he's in charge of bath/shower durations and is also responsible for those sudden Wi-Fi disruptions.

The Fly, aka housefly, is the designated diaper inspector. It makes its presence known when diapers aren't put on after a bath. Some habits are genetically encoded, and she gets this one from me. I've had my share of quirks that drove people up the wall; my posts "Old Man" and "Things I Eat and How" are just the tip of the iceberg. I guess what they say is true: what goes around comes around. Karma at its finest.

I know the D-day will come when we can no longer get away with distractions and stories, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

B and I are still learning and will probably make every mistake possible. For now, we'll use these superheroes to bail us out. Eventually, we'll have to stop outsourcing and replace the terrific trio, becoming the dynamic duo.

Wonder Years

This year, my eldest sister, who is eight years older than I am, will soon reach a significant milestone in her life. She gets highly infuriated when I mention her age, and like any good brother, I respect that and do not mention her age. This year, I celebrated my 42nd birthday.

You've probably heard the phrase "third time's the charm," which explains my parents' quest for perfection and why they stopped trying when I was born. If you ever ask my sisters, they will grudgingly admit to kneeling down with their arms outstretched, praying for 'me.' This explains the immense love my sisters showered on me as a child.

To quote a few examples, my eldest sister once role-played a scene from a Hindi movie and left me at the doorstep of the neighboring building. There were also a couple of accidental drops and the time she 'accidentally' snipped off my eyebrow while giving me a haircut. I'm not saying these were attempts to get rid of me, just a series of sheer coincidences that point to that train of thought.

Being the only boy was like being an only child since I was way younger than my sisters. However, I was included in some of their games and got to play several important leading roles, like the detective dog in Famous Five, the beggar child, and a lamp post. I also played the part of the errand boy and a walking Uber for their friends when they had parties.

Mind you, on a few occasions, I have repaid the stoic spiritual sacrifice of my sisters. For instance, I ensured fame for my eldest sister by dressing up as Mary Lou Retton and performing a flawless somersault in front of her friends. I also selflessly allowed my other sister, the one who is not light-years older than I am, to read my college classic literature books. She was so grateful that she gave me her limited stock of bendy straws and blank cassettes. I deny any mention of a barter system involved.

I also splurged my hard-earned shady sticker business money on a delicious Chinese meal and monster chips, which were highly appreciated, consumed with delight, and then spewed moments later. I was appalled and tried to extort a refund, as she did not care to hold it down until it was digested. The fact that she was seriously ill was irrelevant at that time.

Over the years, my relationship with my sisters has improved considerably; I say this with conviction as I am still alive. My eldest sister, who is still 26.3 years old on Mars, has become wiser and more spiritual, and my other sister has become a multi-skilled, meticulous, talented mother. I, for one, will always be a reminder that God does have a sense of humor.

Then & Now

Then and Now

A lot has changed over time, some traditions still followed and new ones created. "When I was your age" has been used across the seven seas in different languages. Every time I heard these 5 words, I would roll my eyes and think "there we go again", little did I know that I would be mouthing these words decades later. These 5 words, I am sure have been passed down from generation to generation and will be time immemorial. 

Folklore has stated that the 1st known episode was approximately 4.2 million years ago, give or take a few hundred years. One scorching day a young Australopithecus was complaining how hot it was and how his feet hurt, he was immediately silenced by his grandfather who said "oook waup yau ra, dogoi trog neu lo, wangum talya au melidima grote Ra einsgp" roughly translates to when I was your age, I used to walk twice the distance in the land of a 100 suns and you complain...pfft.

Fast forward to 2021, my two going on twenty daughter was refusing to eat unless she got to hear "when you're happy and you know it, clap your hands". A song I have heard so many times, I involuntary start clapping whenever I hear the word 'happy'. For those of you who are reading this and thinking, If I had a child I'd never let that happen, I wish you good luck. The fact is a child is just being a child and he/she will imitate what they see, it is for us to understand and adapt. Screen time is not bad as long as it does not get to be excessive.

When I was young we didn’t have distractions and we had no choice but to use our imagination to have fun, we slept a lot better and ate what was cooked at home. Everything that we take for granted today was a luxury back then. We can’t really blame anyone for not being more patient, demanding or grateful, as we are drowning in an abyss of choices. Everything is available at a click of a button.

I wonder what "When I was your age" pearls of wisdom lil N will impart when she is older?. I bet that the disruption caused by Covid, will be right on top of the list.

It all boils down to a simple theory of demand and supply. It could be anything under the sun, the more you have the less you appreciate it and "Yes" that includes money too. Unfortunately, we realise what we have only once it is scarce. We need to appreciate what we have and 'live' in the present, as the past can't be undone and the future will always be a step away.

Last year I digitally detoxified and deleted my facebook and Instagram account, as I personally felt it was more of a distraction for me rather than a medium to connect with family and friends. However, technology when used wisely is a boon. Today we can easily connect, share our thoughts, pictures with anyone instantly. I have been working from home for the past 1 year, this would not have been possible 20 years ago.

This brings me back to appreciating what we have rather than focusing on how this pandemic has disrupted our schedule. I've always believed that things happen for a reason and although it may not be clear now it will all make sense later. Patience is a virtue and I try each day to live by it.

Twenty Twenty One

Attempt #16… Gone are the days when I could just sit down and write. You'd probably say I need to get more organized and plan better, but writing can't be planned—at least not for me. I write when my mind is relaxed, and right now, I've got four hamsters high on energy, working that wheel.

The 2020 pandemic reorganized the world in a matter of months, and now we're living the "New Normal." It's been a year, and we've successfully adapted. A lot of things that seemed impossible overnight became possible: 100% work from home in certain sectors, the "need" for maids, 90%+ online payments, the need to wear pants every day or shave regularly—the list goes on.

We're fettered by tradition and 'tried and tested' ideologies. We rarely challenge and push boundaries. They say when push comes to shove, we discover potential.

Most people get too comfortable, both professionally and personally, and are afraid to rock the boat. I ask, why not? But if you're going to, then you better know how to swim.

Personally, it has been a rewarding experience getting to see my daughter grow. The simplicity with which she looks at life makes me appreciate what I have so much more. Just the other day, the delivery agent came with a box of Pampers, and she squealed in delight and thanked me profusely, as if I had given her the world on a diamond-encrusted platinum platter.

As kids, we appreciate the simplicity of life, but as we grow, most of us lose that innocence and fall prey to the materialistic world. We then define success and "happiness" by the number of international stamps on our passport and the wealth we possess. Society reinforces this delusion through advertising.

2020 changed all of that to some extent. There was a ban on travel and entertainment. Most places did not allow maids to enter gated communities. People had to adapt quickly, and most were able to transition smoothly. Some people learned new crafts, and some caught up on all the sleep they missed in previous years. I, for one, learned new ways of annoying my wife and the art of hiding in plain sight.

This pandemic has eviscerated the lives of many families. People curse the virus, the government, the situation they're in. However, when you think about how it has survived so long and continues to run amok, it's due to our inability to follow rules. We continue to push boundaries and fail to be responsible. Will we ever be able to all follow rules? The answer is a bitter pill to swallow.

I look at this period as an opportunity for us to make the best of what we have. We may not be able to change a lot, but we can change the way we see the world.