Telemarketers Vs James

Telemarketers Vs James

Have u ever taken that perfect nap, only to have your phone ring just as you've hit that sweet spot in the sleepy cycle.

On the other side you usually get the most annoying voice greet 'A very good afternoon to you' ‘myself Suresh calling from XYZ’. A telemarketer life is not easy and I understand that, as I was also once a telemarketer, however I knew when to push and when to just let the potential customer be.

When I receive such a call I thank the telemarketer and say I'm not interested. I am courteous as I know that they are just doing their job, however if they continue to annoy and get cheeky then I let them have it.

I don’t get into a fit of rage or abuse them; I start to sound genuinely interested and ask them all inane questions

Credit Cards / Loans

1. Do I need to pay the loan back

2. Can I take a 50 lac loan and pay Rs 1000 per month

3. Can I give you a fake address and we’ll split the loan 

4. Do you know how to pay Gin Rummy with Cards

5. Did you say Phone, Blown, Clone and then go to step 1

By this time they either hang up or some say sir that is not possible.  At times I ask them if they are interested in buying a second hand PC or my old pen drive.  I even offer heavy discounts but to no avail.

Holiday Packages/ Time Share

Sir are you single or married, if the caller is a male, I say sorry mate I don’t swing that way, If it’s a girl then I say I am but I need to get to know you better. Sadly most don’t get it.

If the conversation continues I ask them if they could convert my house into a holiday home or I ask them if they would like to come for a holiday with me.

99% of the time I don’t answer unknown numbers, I answer them now as I’m currently looking for a job.

Tip: - Don’t get mad at a telemarketer, If you are busy say you’re not interested and if they don’t heed say you’re currently overseas (this always works) If you have time to spare and have nothing to do, have fun.

Kitchen War

I get up to hear things being thrown around in the kitchen, I walk in to find my dad in midst of an argument with an onion, before you pass judgement he is not crazy he is just as insane as I. He looks at me, gives me an evil grin and then picks up the diced onion and throws it the pan of hot oil and says, “that will teach you a lesson” as the onion sizzles away, you can hear screams "I'm sorry, never again, never again" and then there is silence. I’m sure that all future onions will withhold their sulfloxide if they ever encounter my dad.

I've lived with my dad long enough not to be surprised and wait for him to tell me his logical expression of displaced rage. While dicing onions, the release of sulfloxide burned his eyes and this was his way of getting back at them. If you do want to know what is the best way to prevent this irritation then go to this website Crying game

I couldn’t help but laugh at his inane justification, but I guess we all grow up doing stuff like this; it is hardwired into us as kids. I remember falling down and cutting myself and someone told me to hit the ground and admonish it, just to be clear this happened a long time ago when I was a kid, I thought I'd clarify.

I’m pretty sure that some of you can relate to this, I am sure that most people have reprimanded the furniture, tree, cycle, ground, stone or anything that caused them or their little angel pain.  

My dad loves to cook and fix stuff, and if you do happen to be present during one of his mishaps, you will get to see a tomato being beaten to a pulp, or a knife being demoted from cutting vegetables and meat to being used as a mixer for paint and when he’s fixing stuff you will get to see a poor little nail getting pounded.

We all take out our frustration on things that can’t fight back, like your keyboard that gets battered when your computer hangs during an important presentation or your car when it refuses to start. I guess we believe that by punishing the object it will mend it's ways and work. Trust me it never works.

I have learned that you can grow up all you want, but some habits stay with us forever. Now it time to hit my stupid phone that keeps rebooting.

My College Career Counselor

It was a hot summer day and I had nothing to do; my life was grinding to a halt. I had to do something.

I could not waste my life thinking about nothing or doing nothing about my thinking, sounds confusing, I'm sure it does, that was the state of my mind, in a mess, or organized chaos.

I do not remember what prompted me to make the effort to find out if we had a career counselor, but I did.

I vaguely remember this lady in her late thirties, smiling at me as I entered her office.
I told her I need some guidance. She smiled at me; she was missing some teeth and many dentist appointments.

Her eagerness made me believe that I was the only person she spoke to all week.

I sat down and she asked me a couple of questions, my name, age, where I lived, what did I do (this really confused me) what did I do?

I had an ID card, I was in college, what did I do?

A student, in college, talking to you, I said (it rhymed)

I knew I was in for a strange, very strange conversation.

I told her I lived with my parents and 2 sisters, her next question baffled me and left me worried and wondering if I was in the right place.

“Is your father alive?” ….hmmm maybe this was supposed to be a trick question. But she was serious.

“The last time I checked, he was” was my prompt reply.

she did not seem very pleased with my reply, Ok she said what does your mother do.

I told her "Just in case you want to know she is also alive, and she is a teacher"

Then for some strange reason she asked me if my parents were separated, I told her that they had not informed me that they were and if they were, they were doing a very good job hiding it.

This pissed her off even more, but she tried to keep her cool.

Then she asked me if I wanted to follow in my parents footsteps, I told her if I did they would wonder why I was following them around, I laughed...

She was dead serious.

I guess she gave up asking personal questions and moved on to career oriented questions, the basic, what do you like to do or what are you interested in.

I told her I was confused and I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life and that was one of the main reasons I had come to her, for direction, I later found out it was misdirection.

So pandered to her request, and told her I wanted to be “A Detective”

“Ah that’s interesting” she said with a bewildered look. So what type of detective would you like to be, I knew that she had no clue what to tell me or where to guide me, so I decided to play along.

I told her I wanted to be an “FBI Agent” I was dead serious, and she looked LOST.
WHY do you want to be an FBI agent? Why not a CBI Detective?
Because I can’t speak Hindi was my quick reply.

I managed to keep a straight face throughout the question/answer session.

I went on to explain why I couldn’t speak Hindi and how it would greatly affect my ability to extract information from the criminals.

She didn’t seem very experienced as she was now looking as lost as I was when I entered. I’m sure I made her wonder if she was in the right profession.

She asked me the standard what do you like and dislike questions, after another round of questions and answers; we seemed to have hit the same roadblock we hit in the 1st 5mins.

It was one battered roadblock.

1 hour into the discussion, I decided to ask her why she did what she did. She told me that she liked helping people find themselves.

I told her I was as lost as I was 1 hour ago and we had not made any progress. She seemed to nod in agreement.

We discussed the possibilities of joining the army, navy, air force, a psychologist and an artist.

I could see that she was getting frustrated as we had made no progress.

She told me that she was not sure how she could help me and she told me to come and see her 5 years later.

I never did go back…

I came home and narrated this incident to my family, they found it really amusing.

It’s been 15years since that eventful day I still do not know what I want to do with my life.

Ass-Aaram-Baap–Poo

Ass-Aaram-Baap–Poo

Stupidity should be mind-numbingly painful and this will cure the world.

Asaram Bapu a self-proclaimed God man, recently made a statement that the Gang rape victim was also to blame…YES you read it right. He went on to say that the victim should have pleaded with the rapist and should have tried to evoke their inner conscience and request them not to rape her. Now SERIOUSLY, do you think the victim did not plead while she was brutally raped? Does he think she just laid there or encouraged this depraved behavior?

I highlighted a few words in my previous passage, pleaded and inner conscious, the scum who raped her didn’t have an inner conscience, they wouldn’t listen to her pleas. Asaram Bapu has power; a lot of people revere him and with great power comes great responsibility. By making such statements he is causing more harm to his followers as they will believe that they are invincible by just chanting hymns. 

What surprises me even more is that one of his followers Neelam Dube, a devotee of Asaram Bapu a woman supports his views. She says if the girl had taken spiritual guidance all this could be avoided.

The sad part is that, Asaram Bapu, firmly believes what he says and he has no clue on the impact it has created on the nation. He is probably living in la la land and is delusional of what is happening around him. His devotees are brain washed into believing anything and everything. They in turn with pass on these same illogical suggestions to their children.

Honestly I would be pleased if such a world existed, we wouldn’t need a police force, security, or jails. No one would try and harm you. We wouldn’t need to defend our country or even lock our doors, well thinking about it we wouldn’t need locks of any kind.

Monsters in your Living Room

This is not a post about childhood nightmares or a spin off the animated movie Monsters. it's about the possible monsters lurking in each one of us.

Sounds scary doesn't it...well it is. Each one of us has a dark side, whether we would like to admit it or not, we are all capable of committing the most vicious crimes known to man. What prevents us from indulging in these horrific acts is our conscience. It's the little voice in our head that helps us choose between Right /Wrong and Good /Evil. In animated cartoons it's the little angel on the right shoulder and the devil on the left.

After I wrote the post on The Mayan Were Right, it got me thinking, could we really pin point why such acts of violence manifests itself in some individuals ? what drove them to a point where the lines of right and wrong were blurred.  I remember in the movie 8MM when the serial killer was caught he told the Detective, "it not what you expected did you?" He said he had a happy childhood and was raised right" then what drove him to go off the handle?

Some things will always be a mystery, are people who appear to be socially well adjusted really sane?
Can we be certain that the monsters that lie within stay controlled? it's a scary thought.

Alcohol most often brings out the real person, and some people fight so hard to appear well adjusted. For those in relationships, watch-out for the signs, If you don't like what you see when your partner is drunk, its not going to go away once they are sober. It will always be under the surface waiting to explode. Men who hit women in a fit of rage, are likely to repeat this again and again.

Most women, who are abused mentally, physically and emotionally need to know that the tormenting will not stop IF they do not put a stop to it. By forgiving a physical assault no matter how minor it may be, they are subconsciously okaying that abuse. 

I did make some references to computer games in my previous post, people do enjoy shooting at each other and after sometime they need a bigger stimuli to get a high, could this be one of the causes for violence ? well it just could.

By banning violent games the problem will not go away as most have tasted blood and will go to great lengths to get that high. As humans we are programmed to survive and they will find a way to hide their deviant selves. A new strain of delinquent behaviour will surface once they control what they know to avoid getting caught.

We need to reinforce the right behavior with our peers, social groups and raise our children to be good citizens. Reinforcement of the right behavior will not cure but prevent the deviant behavior from surfacing. 

We are all living on the edge and dancing with wolves in sheep's clothing, we can never say that we are really safe, cause you never know what lies beneath.

16 Weeks

At 16 weeks, a baby is over 4.5 inches long from crown to rump, a baby's facial muscles are developed enough to grimace, frown, and make other faces in the womb.

At 16 weeks, I am still frowning and making other faces I learned as a baby, as I am still unemployed and the job hunt is pretty frustrating.

I can swear that when your on leave a week last only 4 days. You have your Monday, so that you know its the start of the week then before you know it is Wednesday and while your still trying to digest the fact that its already Wednesday, Friday has already made its self comfortable and the weekend lasts 24hrs. I

ts been 16 Weeks since I quit and I've gone through a quarter in no time. If you ever happen to meet me or speak to me, don't be surprised if all my conversations are peppered with topics on the economy, unemployment, and job hunt.

My family has stopped asking me questions as I have a standard request. I Need a Job. What do ya want for Christmas ? : I want a Job. I'm going out do u need anything ? : I Need a Job. Any plans for the new year ? : To get a job So how are you ? : Unemployed, I Need a Job.

I paid a recruitment agency Shine.com to spruce up my resume and contact recruitment firms and companies. So I've explored I guess all avenues. With the US fiscal cliff teetering towards a collapse. The job market will probably get affected world wide. I just hope and pray I get a job before the market collapses.

I've begun to seriously consider becoming a delivery boy for a restaurant. I know bandra really well and I am sure I will speed up the delivery process for any restaurant. So currently all the bells and whistles are ringing and I'm almost in panic mode, but it will take another 8 weeks until I have to start selling stuff like a kidney, liver, car, clothes, movies. Etc.

if you are still reading this post you can either let me know if there are vacancies or wait for the BIG SALE and get a good bargain on a kidney.

The Mayans Were Right

21st December 2012 3:54am… According to the Mayan calendar the world is supposed to end today. If you are expecting a worldwide catastrophic calamity that will bring an end to humanity, well it’s not going to happen.

However I believe that the Mayan’s were right, but it doesn’t mean that the Earth is going to explode before the day ends, it just means that humanity is scarce and will soon be non existent.
The horrific senseless acts of terror and inhumanity, that occurred in the last couple of weeks is proof enough, that humanity no longer exists.

Last week a 20 year old, mercilessly massacred 27 people most of them kids. How depraved do you need to be to shoot innocent kids for no reason? and most of them were shot more that eleven times.

A couple of days ago, six men gang raped and mutilated a young 23 year old girl in a bus. The girl was later thrown out of the moving bus and she succumbed to her injuries yesterday. Rapes and murders have become an everyday affair. Bombay was once known to be the safest cities for women, but was it really safe? Or have the media become more vigilant. I believe that more than half of the crimes committed are not reported. The recent spate of murders and rapes makes Bombay no safer than swimming in a lake infested with hungry crocodiles.

Scores of protests demanding for stricter laws to curb these crimes are spurting all over the world. But what we fail to realise is that, the frequency of these heinous acts are increasing. Sure, we have laws that will prevent people from carrying weapons, and have the harshest punishment given to people who commit such crimes, but will it deter people from committing these monstrous acts of violence? I think not, it will only make them look for other alternatives to commit these crimes.

The people, who resort to these inhuman acts, are sick depraved heartless individuals and no law will change their state of mind. The question we should ask ourselves is why are so many people resorting to such inhuman acts of violence? What drives them to commit such crimes? are television and media fueling such violence?

I would say it does play a part, but it can't be the sole reason why people go off the handle and become monsters. I do believe that lack of adult supervision and guidance is also one of the major factors.
Parents are so busy trying to either make ends meet or working to secure a better life for themselves and for their children that they forget to spend that quality time with their kids. They substitute that lack of time shared by giving their kids money.

I have seen work-life balance go out of whack and it’s not surprising why some kids do become deviant. However this is also not the sole reason why people commit such crimes. It is a combination of heredity and environment.

Life is not what it used to be, video games have become far more advanced from the times of ‘Super Mario’ and ‘Packman’; they have artificial intelligence and are realistic.

With the advancement in technology these games have become more realistic and some of them fuel these acts of violence. I read that there are games created with the objective of raping and stalking a person. The videos on the internet also cater to the sick needs of some licentious soul.

We have movies that showcase some of the harshest realities of life. 8mm showcases pornography to its extreme (snuff films) in which at the end of the act the woman is actually brutally murdered.

It is illegal, but some people will pay a lot of money to see it. Humanity is dead and we are living in a world that gets more apathetic day by day. After a horrific crime, we tweet about it, we talk about it, we hold protests and ask for the death penalty and after a few days, weeks or months, we go back to our busy lives and forget about it.

Do these heinous acts really shake our spirits, or are they just topics of discussion? Have we become inured to such behaviour? I guess we have. Our only hope is to instill the right values in the youth of today, so that we may have a better tomorrow.