Bringing the Zing Back

They say that love is blind and marriage is an eye opener. I believe that when you are in the initial stages of love you are so consumed, mesmerized and focused on impressing your partner that you lose sight and overlook any shortcomings.

Over time the butterflies in your stomach get tired and you no longer get that tingling feeling when you see your partner.  You are now more comfortable burping and farting in each other’s presence, basically you take each other’s existence for granted. The drive to impress dwindles with each passing day and over time. If you manage to pick up after yourself or put the toilet seat down you consider that a huge favor you have bestowed upon your partner.

Life can get too routine and predictable, it is at this time we have a choice to let things be, or try and bring some excitement back into your life and your partner’s life. Some veteran couples may tell you that if you have something good let it be. I however feel that you need to rock the boat and stir up some excitement to get the zing back. Even if you have managed to bring some excitement for a day or two, you are moving in the right direction.

I’ve written a couple of posts in the past about relationships and in each one I reiterate, don’t take your partner for granted  for in the midst of routine and boredom you would either neglect your partner or get into something that you should not. 

The simplest way to get back on track is to have open conversations; now having such a conversation is tough as at times we do not want to be completely honest as we fear how the other person will react. What we forget that if we aren’t completely honest we will never know how our significant other will react and we carry that burden of a secret or discontent for years.

I have seen people hide things from their partners and I know that it eats into them as they are unable to be truly honest. If your relationship is strong enough it will endure some bitter truths, however if your relationship is built on lies it will one day crumble before your eyes and you will have no time to salvage anything from it. Life is not a result of one big choice that we make, but it is a list of little choices that make us who we are.

For any relationship to be successful, you need to have those hard conversations and hope for the best.  One should never forget that a brilliance of a diamond is achieved from a piece of coal.  It is only time, endurance and immense pressure that make it unbreakable and precious. You need to learn to sift the glass from the diamonds.

The older you get one realizes that relationships are built on trust, understanding, forgiveness and love.  It doesn’t matter how much money, fame, or success you have achieved, what truly matters is for who our hearts still beats.

Freedom

Sometimes we just need to get away from our daily routines and experience something new. It could be a new hobby, a new friendship or an item from our bucket list.

Whatever we choose to do should give us the sense of freedom we've been longing for. Life can get mundane and too routine if we don't pay attention. Relationships can also lose its spark, if we don't keep the fire burning.

Overtime the once hot embers of a relationship are nothing more than a lump of charred cold ash. So if you feel, tied down, suffocated, uneasy and bored, take charge of your life and do something new.

For those in relationships, you can forge new friendships meet new people and yet be committed to your partner. But beware of getting too emotionally attached your new found friend, as it could damage your existing relationship.

Some of the signs to watch out for are:

1) If you find yourself talking about your new friend very often, you have unknowingly got attached emotionally.

2) If you text each other every single day, at the start and at the end of the day you are in a pseudo relationship.

3) If you have deleted, or feel the need to delete some portion of your text messages from your new friend, then you are either consciously or subconsciously feeling guilty or feel the need to eliminate the evidence.

4) If you start to feel more comfortable expressing your inner thoughts dreams and ideas with your new friend, you are probably not too far away from considering this person as your future partner or vice versa.

5) Sometimes we you give someone a shoulder to cry on, they get attached to you.

Life can get very complicated and if we aren't alert, we can get drawn and pulled into any direction. My advice is, have fun, experience everything you dreamed of experiencing but know where to draw the line. Because at times the line is so faint and blurred we often miss it.

Stay happy, healthy and live life to the fullest.