Thursday 15 June 2017

Things I EAT and HOW

This is an exhaustive list of most of the things I eat. I have been very careful to include, how I like to eat certain types of food. This list was created especially for people who care to cook for me or care to host me. I would never insist on anyone pandering to these conditions, I would just politely refuse to eat if I do not like something or I would place my own order.

I do not like to Share food however, if I have company I will offer, and  if you choose to eat, please make sure that you take the food in your own plate, using an untouched fork or spoon or use the serving spoon.

Breakfast

Eggs (fried on both sides); the yolk should be fried.
Egg white fried
Pork or chicken cocktail Sausages, Bacon, Salami (pork)
Bread white/Brown – Needs to be soft
Amul Butter or President butter.
Cheese Amul, Britannia, Cheddar, (block cheese only) needs to be grated.
Cheese Grilled sandwiches
Sandwiches may contain fried pork / chicken sausages and bacon.
Cheese Sada Dosa or Butter Sada Dosa, Medhu Vada (Indian donuts) no gravy / sauces
French fries, potato wedges, hash browns

Starters
All chicken, Mutton and fish starters, except prawns, lobster, or any shell fish
Some of my favorite are Chicken tikka, Chicken tangdi Kabab, Tandoori chicken
Schezwan tandoori chicken, Mutton / chicken Seekh kebab + other starters such as
Chilly Chicken dry, Manchurian chicken dry, Chicken Satay, Crispy Thread chicken
Chicken lollipops / Apple chicken

Fried Fish, Pomfret fry, Fish Koliwada, Bombils, Fish and chips

Main Course
Chicken Kadai, Angara, Patalia, Butter Chicken, Chicken Kolhapuri
Chicken Tikka Masala + other chicken dishes. Beef or chicken crumb chops with mashed potatoes and grilled vegetables

Butter nans, roomali rotis, butter rotis, Chapattis, phulkas with butter

Chicken Hakka Noodles, Chicken fried rice
Burnt chilly chicken fried rice, Szechuan Chicken Hakka noodles
Szechuan Chicken fried rice, Chicken Manchurian, Chilly chicken and some other Chinese gravies. (DO NOT LIKE SWEET Gravies)

Any Fish curry spicy or tangy
Jeera Rice, White Basmati rice (grains should be separated)
Dal (only at home), Roast Beef (only at home) or certain restaurants.

Burgers
Should contain only the bread, Burger Pattie (Beef) cheese and butter, no other ingredients or sauces

Pizza
The Base dough + Cheese + Meat ONLY – No pizza sauces of any kind
example: Quattro Fromaggi

Snacks
Mutton patties (A1 bakery), Cheese puffs, Cheese croissants, Chicken lollypops
Chicken shorema with chicken and fried potatoes only, Chicken Frankie with chicken and onions only, Potato bajjias

Vegetables: - OH Yes! I Do Eat Vegetables!!!
Onion, cucumbers, lettuce, green beans, carrots spinach, broccoli, zucchini, eggplant slices (fried in batter)
Stir Fry veggies or Grilled... Not the cooked kind as in vegetable dishes.

Juices
Orange, Sweet lime, Watermelon, Apple, Mango and Grape

Fruits
Watermelon, Plums, Pears, Apples (crunchy, not the cotton textured ones)
Grapes, Strawberries
, Blue berries. Any berries and cherries
Oranges, and Pineapple 


What I DO NOT like: I have mentioned it a couple of times throughout this post.

NO SAUCES: White sauce, pizza sauce ....Only pepper sauce on a sizzler is cool.

No Ketchup, chutney, or mince 

Gastronomical Idiosyncrasies and the X files


People have often asked me about my food habits and I have either directed them to a detailed list of the things I eat, click here --> THINGS I EAT and HOW OR  I have referred them to the No touching Brumotactillophobia post I wrote a couple of years ago. Link: Brumotactillophobia

I however have failed to mention a very important caveat in this whole food conundrum. I do eat everything on the list I have provided, however the way I eat is what I have failed to mention, this leaves the people who wish to bring me some food stumped when I tell them I would not be able to eat what they bring, although it is something that I had mentioned on the list.

I am a 100% sure that you are either confused or have the Oh! Heavens expression, So if you are brave enough to understand what I mean and wish to read further …or let me put it into context, if you have absolutely nothing to do in life and my post is the only source to kill time, post counting the spots on the wall, watching paint dry or waiting for a 3GB file to download on a 256KBPS connection, you may read on at your own risk. (Disclaimer made, I am safe).

I have certain rules I follow, and if you need to understand WHY or how did I come up with such rules, you will have a better chance getting the exact date the universe came into existence, or have all the answers to the following questions. Click on the link Unexplained Files

My name would have been at number 1, however not many readers get past the 1st paragraph to care to vote for me. I have now managed to get through 3 paragraphs without explaining anything much like our revered leaders on our planet. So getting back to the rules that I follow, there aren’t many but it’s something I live by.

  1. I love home cooked meals and those meals need to be had only at home. This means that if you have prepared something that I love and you pack it in tiffin, I will not eat it, WHY? – No reason. However there is hope, if the meal is packed in a tiffin or a container and I do not see it packed in a tiffin and that meal is now unpacked and served to me on a plate, I will eat it.
  2. I will eat food packed in a container if it brought from a restaurant - Not Logical, doesn’t support point number 1, I know.
  3. If great food is cooked and it is then put into the fridge, I will not take it out from the fridge and reheat it. Once it goes in, it goes in and never comes out. However the same loophole is applicable, I will eat it if it is given to me.
  4. I rarely eat left over food that is parceled at a restaurant. I need to be in the mood to eat it.
  5. I do not drink liquor but I love liquor chocolates.
  6. The rice that is cooked should not be sticky or lumpy. I like the grains separated.
  7. Meat should be soft, and not chewy.
  8. I hate the fat on meat and the skin on the chicken, it should be removed completely.
  9. I will clean my plate and my fork at a restaurant or any place outside my house.
  10. I dislike drinking any beverage in a glass; especially outside and I would prefer drinking it directly from the bottle.

So the top 10 things that are pretty annoying, however I do occasionally make exceptions to rule numbers 1,2 and 3, when and why do I do it, is something only God can explain.
If you have met me and have noticed anything other than the rules I have mentioned do let me know so that I can help some people who care or dare to understand my illogical complex mind know me better.

Thursday 1 June 2017

How Could She ?

My life was beautiful, it was perfect in every way possible. I felt invincible, proud, secure and blessed. A few moons ago I experienced the most brutal, unimaginable, shocking event in my life. I felt my heart shred and liquefy instantly into a sea of oblivion. My brain convulsed and froze my thoughts were an aposiopesis of the purest form, a series of disjointed feelings and words relegated into limbo of lost words.

I lay motionless trying to fathom why and how this could have happened.

I couldn't believe that she could do this to me. Were my feelings not considered ? Did she not know how I felt?  How could she?... Were the 3 words that kept ringing in my head. She knew how I felt, she knew everything and still she went ahead and did that dastardly deed.

Once she started she couldn't stop and before she knew it she had got in too deep to make any amends. I could see her guilt ridden face mask her surreptitious smile. She could have stopped to think about it, but she didn't, with conscious callousness and obduration she forged ahead, one bit at a time until it was over. She relished every bit of it and looked unapologetic.

She made a perfunctory attempt to apologise, but it oozed insincerity and apathy. 

I was livid and incredibly hurt but I loved her too much to hold a grudge. I have forgiven her, but the question I will always have is... How could she eat my biryani???

Sunday 28 May 2017

I am ME

I type incoherently at my keyboard words spew out with gay abandonment, I write every morbid thought my overly active crazy mind can imagine, my unfettered thoughts flow disdainfully unaffected by what my readers think or feel about me.


My thoughts are not my feelings, it's just an expression of all the garbage my overly active mind has accumulated. The putrid, vile and morbid words you read are etched only online.


I cleanse myself and keep my mind clear.I keep my head and heart empty so it can be renewed with a sense of joy and happiness I long for. I am a vessel, a reflection of your actions or inaction's.


I try to give more than I get and I believe that life always balances the good with the bad. I don't fear death but I wouldn't send it an invitation. When my time comes I shall embrace it.


I have loved and lived an incredible life. There is possibly so much more I need to do and see and I will, if time permits.I attain a cathartic release through poetry and my blog, My caustic words and violent rage run amok not in my heart but on my page.


I type these thoughts to heal myself and exorcise these demons. My prevarication is a form of defense, I am reticent yet expressive, my evocative posts are filled with inexpressible nostalgia.


I leave you to accept me for my idiosyncrasies. I am what I am, unabashed and free, my writing is esoteric. I rid myself of megrims and my unintentional, careless melancholic thoughts. 


Life in all its splendor can and will be experienced once you cleanse your mind and soul. It waits patiently to be invited.


Herald the grand opening and make way for the things to come, we will no longer live in darkness, it's time to invite the sun.
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It’s just a Creative form of expression / writing ... Don't read too much into it.

A New Journey

I have always been capricious and this has worked in my favor at times, however off lately it has led to unfathomable disastrous results. I've coached and counselled myself a million times, but I have failed to implement anything. I have found it is easier to give stellar advice than follow it, as one doesn't need to deal with the consequences.

I am seen as someone who is very practical, however when the shoe is on the other foot my brain takes a long vacation. I've been trying so hard to follow the psychobabble I have been dishing out. 

After a multitude of unsuccessful attempts I have now learnt to maintain my equanimity to some degree. In the recent past my maudlin behavior has irked a few, but I'm unaffected. Time has taught me to embrace difficult situations and accept the change in a positive way. I'm comfortably numb.

I now tend to be dilettantish in most conversations with family or friends and whenever I'm asked how I feel I smile and say I'm fine. Life is so much simpler this way.

Some people find me a tad bit caustic but I honestly don't care, I've never cared, but now I'm unemotional to a greater degree. This is my way of dealing with things right now. Each day I try to focus on getting through the day and being happy.

I no longer choose to be the harbinger of happiness. I exist one moment at a time and I choose to remain guarded and stoic until the grim reaper comes knocking at my door. I fear not what life has in-store as I have endured unfathomable pain and I've survived.

A blizzard of silence and equivocated answers pierced my feeble unstable, nonsensical mind, I had let myself get consumed by my volatile, execrable imagination, I however no longer try and comprehend things, I have faith in God and I trust that whatever has happened is just a test. I look to remaining positive and happy.

As I gaze at the night sky sprinkled with faint diamonds of past souls. I look forward to being part of this velvet tapestry someday. 

I've closed some doors behind me and I've tossed those keys away. Once I find the peace I'm looking for that's where I will stay.
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This is just creative writing, I'm not depressed, I just wanted push the boundaries of my ability to think in a dark way.

Monday 17 April 2017

br-OK-en

Denial, self-reflection, regret, and a multitude of emotions crowd my pallid tormented mind. I replay every life changing event over and over again hoping for a different untarnished reality but no matter how many times I replay those events, the present remains the same.

Regret gnaws at my melancholic soul, slowly devouring every happy memory leaving behind a carcass of emptiness. The void grows wider each day like a great black abyss it swallows and imprisons all the hopes and dreams I had, the light that I once bathed in has been extinguished, leaving behind the stench of crushed dreams that now pave my shattered soul.

I try to comprehend the magnitude of the destruction and I can't seem to fathom how it could have led to such a vile and brutal outcome. Were there signs and I just didn't see it ?, could have I prevented this from happening? The answers I seek are locked awake, the key is my elixir.

I've always believed that the foundation of my world was built with utmost precision care and I put immense effort to ensure that it was secure. I was so confident that no storm no matter how severe could shake or breach this empyrean world I had built with so much love, affection, and trust. Was it fate or was it the perfect storm that breached and annihilated the very core of the foundation?

Was I being punished for my past sins? Was it time to pay my retribution? Could this just be an experience I need to go through?. I have so many questions but the answers lay at the bottom of the impenetrable abyss.

As I try to rebuild my life one shattered fragment at a time I have discovered how frail and delicate life can be and I've learned and understood that life is full of surprises, twists, and turns. I've learned to cope, accept and forgive. I've learned not to build castles in the air and graciously accept and cherish and hold on to the little that I have.

I now cradle my scarred shredded heart and protect it with a wall of apathy and cynicism.

I've also learned to be guarded, more vigilant and less expressive. I wear a mask of tranquility and solitude. I dissimulate to become invisible so that I can just glide unnoticed through life.

I've surrendered to the pain to let the healing begin. I've adapted to become resilient.

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Relax people this is just a gross exaggeration of an insignificant experience, I'm trying to explore a new form of creative writing (attempt 2)

Friday 10 March 2017

After the Storm

I lay motionless staring into emptiness, I've lost track of time. My mind wanders the now blank and scarred recesses of my soul. I'm suddenly jolted into reality by my alarm clock.

I scramble to my feet and try and get a hold of my bearings, dazed and still reeling from the aftermath, I look at my phone... It's 4am. I can hear the echo of silence, everything I had and all that I had planned and dreamt about was lost in an instant. Was this a dream? Or was this really happening?.

I try to fathom the reason why war was waged upon my peaceful soul. What triggered such a catastrophic event? Why now? And Why ME? - These questions all had answers that I was unwilling to accept.

Pieces of my soul lay strewn across a million miles of memories that I had so carefully built over the years, and every fiber of my body ached. My head was ringing and the memories of the past whizzed through; flashes of significant events rose, crumbled and fell before me.

I was comfortably Numb!

I was now left to pick up the pieces of my life one bit at a time and try and rebuild it with whatever I could find. Parts of me were swept away by the storm and are now forever lost. I'm now inured to the pain I feel.

The storms of the past have taught me to fortify and strengthen myself. I had let my guard down as I believed that nothing could ever go wrong, I felt invincible, so secure and powerful, as I had never experienced such comfort in my life before.

I felt that the worst was over and I would only see clear blue skies and rainbows. My arrogance was reined in and subdued.

Was it fate that dealt a cruel blow, or was it my own actions or inaction's that cause this cruel carnage? The answers are irrelevant, as I need to face reality and deal with this in the best way possible.

I am not the same person I was before; I'm highly guarded and very alert. I'm building a fortress that will be impenetrable. No longer will I wear my heart on my sleeve.

The world around me has changed and I've adapted to survive.

As I nurse my shattered heart back to life, I hear a faint ring that gets louder and louder, the ring is now deafeningly loud. I'm jolted awake, I look at my alarm clock it is 4am and everything is fine.

The nightmare has passed.
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Creative dark writing attempt 1. I'm fine and well, this is just an exaggeration of an insignificant experience, just wanted to try a new form of creative writing, so don't over analyze things. All is well.

Wednesday 8 March 2017

Self Advice 101

We've all been there and by "there" and I am referring to the "situation" where our very own illogical, logical “thinkawhatdoyoucallit” machine either saves us from a stressful, highly volatile and delicate situation or it steam rolls and destroys a situation that could be saved and sends it down the fiery pits of Hades.

There is a serious Knowing and Doing Gap here. We know we should be patient and not jump like adrenaline fueled Jack Rabbits to a conclusion, but at times our t'rusty' old brain decides to take an unplanned immediate vacation and you are left to deal with a situation with an overweight one legged, lazy hamster and a squeaky broken wheel.

At times like these, it is best to either shut up or pray that you fall into a temporary coma, until the feeling of stupidity to spew illogical hurtful or unwarranted words subsides.

I'm pretty good at dishing out advice like a 1000 year old yogi, it's irrelevant, and out dated but sometimes in a moment of madness I tend to say something so profound it makes up for all nonsense I've said before. People refer to me as Dr. Barnett and although deep down I know it is a reference to a local Quack, who got his P.H.D. from an alphabet book, I acknowledge the false praise with humility.

I counsel myself and that is not a very good thing, but it's better than listening to someone else and then blaming them if things don't go as planned. I prefer to take responsibility for my own bad advice.

I have a million conversations in my head about a situation and I create elaborate worst case scenarios and situations and I work from there. I link everything I see to that situation and I've realized that, if you believe something then everything and anything will and can be tied to that outcome you have already pre-decided. To break it down for the confused, you only let yourself see what you want to see or you have already decided on the verdict before the trial starts.

Therefore, if you want to truly resolve some issue, you need to tackle things at the very root and work from there. The best way to do this is to ask and "ask with the intention to truly believe and listen to what the other person is saying". If you ask, but have already made up your mind that the other person is lying, it is as good as not asking at all. I hope this makes sense.

Doubt can ruin the best and the strongest relationship, it can eat away years of trust and happiness in an instant. Therefore it is very critical and important to seek immediate clarification if it possible or stay quiet until you can seek clarification.

It's impossible to drink a glass of water without spilling a drop, on a roller coaster while it is hurtling at 100 miles an hour. You need to let the roller coaster come to a complete stop and then drink to your heart's content.

All this sounds good and pretty logical, but when you are in the eye of the storm, logic and the ability to shut up shut down and you knowingly commit verbal suicide by saying stuff you shouldn't.

I've been down that road and I can tell you it’s tough not to go all Deadpool, Harley Quinn when your brain power to compute is dependent on the ability of a disabled lazy hamster. However practice makes (near) perfect, you'll always have that occasional miss.

So the next time you are troubled and want to vent and shout or ask questions that could pretty much send your relationship down the S**t Creek, take a step back, tape your mouth if you have to, or have the most horrific conversation in your head, but Do Not and I repeat Do Not make the mistake of saying something you can't take back, unless you have managed to figure out time travel.

I've struggled with this and I'm still struggling too, but not as much as before. So my advice is practice, practice and practice, and if you still can't manage then, PRAY.

Wednesday 11 January 2017

Key Ingredients of a Relationship

The core of any great and successful relationship is TRUST. Open conversations, honesty, and bitter truths are the key ingredients. If one replaces the key ingredients with half-truths, white lies and silence, the relationship will in time show signs of strains, cracks and instability. 

It is important to recognize and correct this as soon as you see the first signs of a crack or instability. The longer you take to address the concerns and repair the foundation, the deeper and more severe will be the damage and one day it will all breakdown under pressure.

I have seen fairy tale; picture perfect relationships crumble due to misunderstandings, white lies, and concealment of insignificant facts. "IF ONLY" are the 2 words that most couples use once the damage is already done.

So if you do see signs of cracks in your relationship, or if you have held back or hidden anything from your partner no matter how insignificant they may be, it is important that you set up time for a full disclosure and list down all the things that you have either forgotten to mention or chose not to reveal fearing the wrath of your partner.

I can tell you that from my experience, having a full disclosure makes you feel light, less pressurized and happy. My partner and I are completely honest with each other and we leave no stone unturned; there are no secrets or concealment of any facts. This is what helps us strengthen the bond we have. 

The benefit of doing this enables you to be stress free around your partner and you never need to worry about the ”What If she/he finds out", or "I need to be more careful" scenarios. You can live your life peacefully knowing that your partner knows everything about you and still accepts you for the person you are.

If you have done something that you know will upset your partner, lay it all out on the table and see where things go. If your partner decides to forgive you and forget then you need to ensure that you do not make the same mistakes again.

If you are one of the few who have willfully deceived your partner, it is time to swallow that bitter pill and take the rap. You never know how the other person will react. If they love you enough, they may forgive even your worst mistakes and it is then up to you to rebuild the trust you have destroyed piece by piece over time. It is not going to be easy, but you will have a clear conscience and you can be happy.



Life is filled with sharp unexpected turns and potholes and as long as your relationship has a good set of sturdy tires and shock absorbers it will brave the most unforgiving terrain.