Alien

With the Communication Device set in place, I tinkered with the antenna and adjusted the frequency, the signal was weak, I could hear something in the background tried to decrypt the celestial mumble, but there was too much static, a few adjustments and suddenly it was clear, a voice boomed “You are listening to 98.2 FM”, No this can’t be right! … I was puzzled and disappointed. The satellite radio didn’t work. I was expecting to reach people from my planet Neptune.

Now before you think I should dial down the crazy, let me just say my childhood was filled with such crazy stories and adventure, thanks to television and my sisters. I was led to believe that I was adopted and my birth mother and father were from Neptune. 

Shocked? Perplexed? …Well that’s what you get when you have sisters who are way older than you; let’s just call it sibling hazing. I was 6years old and very gullible, unlike kids today. I was at an impressionable age, watching Superman, Star trek and E.T. made it a lot easier for my sisters to convince me that I was adopted and from another planet.

I was so convinced that I was an alien, I wore a pair of silver gumboots throughout the year. 

I have always been interested in finding out if there is life beyond earth in some distant galaxy, I was fascinated by space and I wanted to become an astronaut, however math was not my best friend and apparently that is required.

So getting back to the story, I firmly believed that I was sent by my birth parents to earth to serve a purpose, something I am still trying to figure out; the purpose and not that I was sent by aliens. So a story combination of superman and E.T. encourage me to contact my planet (Neptune)

Armed with a radio, Foil, a hanger, and a plate, I created my ‘Communication Device’, well apparently E.T contacted his planet, so how hard could it be? My fantasy was short lived when after 2 hours in the backyard and surfing through numerous radio stations, my mum called me in for dinner.

My 1st Love

Date:-13 July 2005, Time: - 15:59:21 Seconds… It has been 3 Years 2 Months 9 Days, 3 Hours, 12 Minutes and 2 Seconds and counting…since I first dated her. I would not call it love at first sight, but I had seen her, a couple of years ago but I did not have the courage to approach her, nor did I have the money to entertain her. I got my first big break when I had joined a call center, the money was decent and that is when I realized that it was now or never. 

I went to kurla to meet her. I had gone with a friend of mine, as I was not too sure, what would happen. It was precisely 7:30pm, we finally met her and we were on our way home when she got upset and refused to talk, after a lot of coaxing, and questioning we found out that she needed something to drink as she was very tired, so after a quick refill, we went to my place.

She has always been a little moody, but I guess you can expect that, from any girl (No offense to the women), she was a bit possessive, and would refuse to speak or interact with any other guy, unless I was around, or if I had introduced her to him. I could not complain I rather liked that.

I still remember when I went to Australia last year, she was so upset when I got back, because I did not let her know that I was not going to be with her for 3 weeks, nor did I ask about her. I guess I took things for granted. I can still remember the day as it was yesterday, she was so angry, it made Mount Etna seem like a minuscule spark. She just refused to speak to me for days. I bought her gifts, but it was of no use. Nevertheless, I knew that in her heart she loved me. A week later, after apologizing a million times, she finally relented.

We were back, since that day I have never neglected her. However lately, I have got bored and I guess the spark in our relationship needs to be rekindled. So this Saturday I am taking her to the Kawasaki Bajaj Auto Center in Kurla to give her a complete makeover.

Acceptance

Appreciation, acceptance, and to be valued are some of the intrinsic needs of every human being.

We all want to be accepted, valued and appreciated; it gives us a feeling of self-respect and a feeling that we are worthwhile. Acceptance means we can be ourselves. We all have room for improvement, we have the potential to grow as socially well adjusted individuals, however when someone accepts you for who you are, that growth is not forced upon you. 

The potential to develop and do well can be either suppressed or encouraged by the people we surround ourselves with, therefore it is very important for us to surround ourselves with people who will help us grow.

Being coddled is the opposite of acceptance, not expecting anything form a person is tantamount to killing him. People who do not get acceptance will seek this acceptance through various means. 

This innate human desire to feel loved and appreciated sometimes rears its ugly head.

The pompous friend or colleague has probably never been accepted and thus feels the need to seek this grandeur by boasting.

Some on the other hand are eager to please and will do anything and everything to be liked by everyone. This stems from a feeling of insecurity.

My advice is to you is pick your friends carefully, introspect and get in touch with your feelings. 

Learn to love yourself, not don't get any kinky ideas, I am referring to self love, that is treating yourself with the same respect, compassion, tolerance, and generosity you would shower on a very close friend.

Trust your own feelings, Self-worth requires that you learn to listen to and rely upon your own feelings and not automatically respond to the feelings of other people. Learn to draw the line when you feel uncomfortable, this will set the boundaries, it helps identify what works best for you.

Make your own decisions, if you let others make a difference you will automatically start to rely on what others think. Your life will be run by people who will make decisions for you. Now you may have selected people who are only looking for your best interest and the decisions that they have made for you has always been good. However once these decision makers disappear, you will be left alone and indecisive. 

Value yourself and your time and don't judge your self-worth by your financial status. It's important to introspect and be the best that we can be and not live life based on what others think we should be.

Power to You :)

 

Soulmate Search

The festive season elicits warmth and altruism. The season sparks youthfulness and good cheer. The magic of the season brings friends and family together. For me it’s a time to brush up on my “change the topic” skill. For all my single friends over 25, you know what I am talking about. 

At a wedding you will often hear, now your next, it's a pity we can't say the same at a funeral, lest it be perceived as too rude or insensitive.  Once you do happen to meet someone, the next question is when are you getting married?

If you are newly married, people will ask you “when will we hear some good news” it means when are you going to copulate without protection? - Making it favorable to create a baby.

For many years some of my family members thought I was batting for the same team, as I never spoke about any girl, I was just too shy and I didn't talk about my crushes with my family. 

They were relieved when I got into a relationship, however that didn’t work out and a year later I was single again. During the 1st month of my relationship I was asked by some people "when I was going to get married"

Now I am almost 30 (that’s what I believe and I am sticking to it) and whenever I get the privilege to meet some of my wonderful and nosey relatives or acquaintances, I get bombarded with questions.

So when are you getting married? Why don’t you have a girlfriend? Why are you still single?

I am not some hot eligible bachelor who is playing the field and has a line of girls just waiting to marry me. I am just a regular average guy who has had terrible luck meeting his soul mate. 

Some people take it upon themselves to look out for a good girl. Well I have not heard from them.

I have never been averse to meeting women and seeing where thing may lead, but the conundrum I face is deciphering the line that separates “I like you as a friend and I like you ++” 

In my previous post, I have written about how I have failed to identify when a girl is just being friendly and when she means friendly ++, in my experience I have only witnessed the “just being friendly” signs hence the confusion.

IF you have not read my previous posts then I suggest that you do read them. Understanding X

My theory states that IF you like a girl and she is happy in your presence you should be upfront and tell her how you feel.  It is a lot simpler and avoids the awkwardness later. This brings me to the qualities I look for in a woman, my list is reasonable and logical. 

1. A woman and ONLY a woman will do NO exceptions

2. Someone who truly loves me for me and accepts all my idiosyncrasies

3. Someone who I can connect with on an intellectual /emotional level

4. Someone who will not give up on our relationship if hits a rough patch

5. I should be able carry her (I can carry up to 80kgs/178lbs)*

6. Someone who will not take advantage of my, kindness and generosity.

So if you see my list is not an extensive list, it doesn’t list eye colour, race, or religion. Option 5 is not a priority but it’s a nice to have, what is also nice to have is someone who is good looking, and I say this out of sheer concern for my future kid, if we choose to have one.

My argument is very logical and it is my pre paternal instinct that makes me want the best for my child. I am aware that I don't have the best features and If my future wife is on par or average with regards to looks, what chance will our future kid have.

So to give my kid a fighting chance, I need a girl who is slightly above average in the looks department, again this is not a must have but a good to have. 

I have connected with very few women on an intellectual /emotional level; however these women liked me as just a friend and those who "liked" me eventually realized that they liked me as just a friend. I've been relegated to the friend zone so many times, I've got discounted season pass.

I've had the ooops "I'm so sorry, I thought I had feelings for you, but I realized that I don't feel like that way. I'm really sorry...you are a wonderful person, don't change...we can still be friends"  or the classic, “you are a wonderful human being with a golden heart, I care about you a lot, however I cannot reciprocate the love as I am not capable of doing this, I want you to be happy so, we can only be friends” conversations a couple of times and believe me it's not something I want to hear. 

You can read about how I am from one the recent posts I've written. I am ME

I do not get flattered anymore if someone says I am nice, or sweet, or caring, cause in the end all I get is someone who just wants to be friends, so if you are an eligible girl and IF and only IF you are dead seriously interested in me, make a move or else just be honest from the start. 

I am OK with someone telling me that they like me as a friend only and nothing more, I respect that, what I don't appreciate is someone testing waters and making me believe that they do really care when they are just waiting for a better option. 

In this day and age some people think that everything can be tried, tested and returned once they are bored or suddenly realize that they aren't 'feeling it'. Some late night commercials have a 15 day money back guarantee policy, but I am not a “product” and I don't intend to be treated like one.

I have left the whole soul mate searching to destiny. I’m done trying to understand if a girl likes me or not. I am done giving it my all and getting the return to sender stamp. I am no longer the nice guy who will be the stand by option or the spare charger.

In the meantime I am focusing on enjoying life to its fullest and leaving the rest to fate.

I read a very interesting quote which says "Don't search for your soul mate, God will send them to you when you are both ready"

So the next time someone asks me why I am still single, I'm going to tell them to ask God. :)

Want Less Love More

I have reached that point in my life, where I feel, or rather believe that I am very close to possibly attaining Nirvana and I'm not talking about the rock group.

I feel a sense of fulfillment and I believe that I can clearly distinguish between my wants and needs, well most of the time.

A wise person once told me that to seek happiness; you need to isolate yourself from things, that you may believe will bring you happiness or don't let your happiness be attached to people or objects.

Once you learn to be happy devoid of these things, you will be truly happy. This is all still work in progress and I know with a lot of focus and determination I will achieve this soon.

At the moment I ‘Need’ a job, to sustain a living and run a household, other than that I don't really need anything else.

As far as relationships are concerned, I'm open to possibilities but I'm not going to look out for them. In the past few weeks I've learnt a lot about life.

As humans we all want better things in life, no matter how much we may have currently, it’s never enough. We are tuned to seek better deals both in our professional and personal lives.

We are all so busy in looking for more money, a better house, car, phone and clothes, that we forget that this will only bring temporary happiness.

Now generally most people look for aesthetically appealing mates. Now I know that some of you may not agree, and say it’s the nature of a person that one is drawn to and I would agree to some extent, but the fact is women are drawn to rich successful, good looking men and men are just drawn to good looking women.

Well I know that once you meet a person you will look for other qualities and not all people are shallow and will go for the beautiful / handsome and rich factors, however our society is selling something different in their matrimonial columns.

In most cases our matrimonial columns sends subliminal messages when they advertise using key words like fair, tall, beautiful, rich, MBA,  Green Card Holder and well settled. You will never see a column with very sweet and kind, pleasing personality however she/he is short, fat, and is from a middle class family

Marriages are become a marketing strategy in which the bride and groom are the products that need to be sold. Another factor of the whole marriage charade that makes my blood boil is the fact that educated people still follow the dowry system.

Now most will not admit it, but disguise it under the pretense of custom, tradition, or just say that they feel like giving the grooms family gifts or the other way around.

Well I could write about how I hate the very act of this gift giving, trade off, groom and bride selling event, however I will leave that for another blog.

I conclude this post stating that most of us derive our happiness from attaining objects, status, people and not from living and experiencing life.

Free Time

 

It’s been 7 weeks and counting since I quit my Job. My search for rest, relaxation and recreation has been fulfilled and now it’s time I get back to work.

I have posted my resume to possibly every single recruitment agency and companies in Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, and other parts of India as well as overseas. I have applied for every possible job barring Driver, Watchman, Cook, Dhobi-walla, Doodh-walla, Kachara -walla, Fruit/vegetable-walla, and the other walla's. This however will be on my go to list if I do not get another job in the next 6weeks.

My resume has been shortlisted countless times, now that apparently is a good sign, companies’ feel that I have the skills that they need. I get calls from recruiters stating that an interview will be held shortly, another ray of hope to getting a job. However I have still not cracked for how long I need to wait for “shortly” to materialize.

Follow up sessions with these recruitment agencies only prove that I have received a ghost call. They are unaware that I was ever contacted, which leads me to believe that I am either delusional or they are inept, I will go with the latter.

I seem to have the same response with women, I get positive vibes and for some reason even before the dating starts I'm struck off the list, hmm mm I'm not complaining but wondering if there is some reason why this happens.

So the search still continues with regards to a job. In the meantime I have so far clocked over 500+ hours (42%) on beauty sleep, which I might say has had absolute no effect on me. I am starting to doubt that theory. I still look the same when I worked for 10hrs straight.

I spent the other 58% of my time watching movies, reading, eating, socializing, writing, indulging in some photography, shopping and attending to personal hygiene.

I wanted to travel abroad and even made plans however whenever I plan the trip never materializes and being an Indian is of no help either, now don’t get all patriotic and start fuming or bring out the ‘James Go Back’ placards. My irritation is justified as getting a visa is almost impossible when you are unemployed.

I owe these liberal visa laws to my so called All Indians are my brothers and sisters who live illegally across the world and create a nuisance when they are abroad. Thanks to them it’s so easy to get a visa. I am being sarcastic, just in case you didn’t get it.

So I am at home right now and I am still enjoying the ‘free time’ at the moment. I am not panicking right now as I have given myself 6months /24weeks to find a job. Panic is due in another 6weeks. So till then Adios.

Un-Employ-Me-nt

un – Employ + Me – nt

It's been two weeks since I quit my job and my quest to find another is daunting, however it’s also a blessing as I needed a break. I have kept myself busy by indulging in some photography planning exquisite trips and catching up on sleep.

Wow I didn’t really think two weeks of activity would fit in the 1^st three lines. I guess I need to do a lot more if I need to turn this in to a story. So I will elaborate on why I quit, what happened, and what happened post leaving my job.

A lot of people ask me why I quit when I was doing well and why did I not wait to complete 10years in 3G / Hutchison 3Global Service, / Hutchison Global Service/Vodafone Hutchison Australia/Tech Mahindra. 

I could answer this really quickly but that would shorten my story so I’ll try and give you an in-depth insight into the certain decisions I had to make, now you may not really want to know why or couldn’t care less and if you feel that way you can stop reading right now. 

Ah! I see you are interested in knowing how my complex unique mind functions, how do I know this? It’s simple, you are reading this right now, and now you’re smiling, if your not, smile now; I don’t like being wrong.

I got through another paragraph just talking about absolutely nothing and here you are reading it, you are so kind. Ok, back to the reasons why I quit.

I wanted to do something different, I wanted to push the  boundaries of my  comfort zone and experience life. I felt I was being too safe, "career wise". I had never taken any risks and I was willing to fail. 

So I decided to quit and it was not an easy decision as I was doing really well, but I knew that if I wanted to experience life,  I would have to take a risk. I hate goodbyes and my team is well aware of it, so when I got to know that they were planning something for me I requested them not to make a fuss and let things be normal. 

Now I know that they really care, but I preferred a low key normal exit and the only way to achieve that was to keep people guessing when I was quitting. I had already served my months’ notice and I extended it as my manager requested me to stick around for a couple more days to see a project through.

This worked to my advantage as no one was really sure when I quitting so they couldn’t plan a surprise farewell party (evil laugh). The day before I quit my manager let the cat out of the bag and told them I was leaving so they quickly ordered ‘Biryani’ for lunch (my favorite).

One of the girls from my department got most the guys to write a note/message for me and pasted it on a heart shaped cut-out, that was really special, another guy (one of the funniest guys I have ever met) gave me Bourneville with a message stating that I had “earned it”
  
The last day was filled with exit interviews and I had finally quit. In the evening my manager called me up and asked me to come to work the next day to complete my exit with the GM of my department. I knew something was fishy as I had already had a long chat with him. 

I had not completed my exit formalities with finance and I had to go back to work, so I decided to play along and say that I couldn’t come. I could sense the anxiety in his tone when he insisted that I come to work the next day.

The next morning I woke up at 9am and was scheduled to go to the doc at 10am. My manger and the GM message me and asked me to come there by 11am, at first I told them I couldn’t make it and asked them to reschedule it, then I didn’t want to take the joke that far as I knew they had already made arrangements for my farewell so I went soon after my appointment and was there by 11:45am.

The room was decorated with balloons and all my peers and managers were there and it was nice at the same time very awkward. They created a video a very nice a sweet one and then each of them took turns to say something nice about me. It was really sweet and the guys who I worked with since the start could sense that. I’m glad it happened and I will treasure those memories. 

I wrote a poem just before I left and I guess that signifies how I felt in a couple of verses.

My time has come to say goodbye
Nine years and eight were great
I'm not sure what the hell I'm doing
But a missed opportunity is what I'll  hate.

Some cherish memories and friends I've made
I'd miss them when I go
My new beginning shall not be hindered
By this geographical divide I know

I'll keep in touch and I'm always there
An email, a call away
Just write me when you feel the need
Or call to say just 'hey'

It was hard to leave and take a break
But this is something I had to do
So goodbye, adios, so long, farewell
I bid adieu to you

Wow I’m impressed you are still reading, I thought I lost you back there, so now I will move on to what I have been doing post my temporary retirement.

I spent the 3days catching up on much needed sleep, I would wake up at two in the afternoon every day have lunch and then take another nap till six in the evening, I would later spend my time applying for jobs and updating my Facebook status and talking to friends the after a quick dinner back to sleep.

In the past week I have become more active and sleep only for 8hours and I have been indulging in photography shoots and also planning for a trip somewhere in Europe or the Far East, but those thoughts are on the back burner.

The plan is to go for a trip, see the world and post getting back, find a job. So let’s see where destiny takes me. I hope I do travel somewhere as I know I will definitely come back with a very interesting travel blog. Arrivederci till you read again.

I Want I Need

I read a very interesting article in the newspaper a few days ago, and it was so relevant and applicable to what I’ve experienced.  

An article on ‘Wanting’ it starts out talking about how we fall prey to the mesmerizing advertisements and marketing gimmicks.  

Everything we see, somehow creates an instant need within to have that product, once we are hooked we will find a million reasons why we should buy the object of desire and will be convinced that it will change our life forever.

Have you ever looked at a dress, shoe, bag and said “WOW I MUST HAVE IT”

I’m sure if you are a woman you are nodding in agreement and if you are a guy and you are nodding then let’s just say your testosterone levels are extremely low.  

Now if you are smiling and thinking this article is describing me then keep reading on. It may probably help you become more grounded, less impulsive and save you a ton of money. You can show your appreciation by sending me a cheque. I will post my details later.

I am going to share some fascinating facts and tips I have learned over the past ten years. 
Shopping does make you feel better, but it is not therapeutic, so sorry for bursting your bubble.

The reason why you feel better is because you have fulfilled the desire of emptiness this feeling will last only for a short time and then the thrill of novelty is gone and you will probably need to go on another shopping spree to feel better again.

If you are feeling sad, lonely, or if you are just upset about something, shopping is not the answer. We spend a lot of money buying things we ‘THINK’ we need and they end up being stored somewhere in the back of our shelves.

Sales, discounts just lure us to buy things we don’t need. The clothes we wear or the branded gadgets and gizmos we flaunt do not define who we are.

We don’t become better than anyone if we have the latest gadgets or wear designer clothes. I know that most of you will read this and agree, but the moment you see a Louis Vuitton purse, a Gucci handbag at 70% off, or shoes in your favorite color at half price, you will forget everything I have just told you.

But for the few that do remember what I’ve written, ask yourself “Do I really Need this?” Now your heart will come up with a million reasons why you should have this and your head will also be swayed by the words SALE, 50%, 70% off.

But stop, wait, don’t be impulsive, ask yourself again and this time be really honest with yourself. You will realize that you do not need to buy anything.

If you still swayed and land up buying stuff and then later regret buying it, seek professional help.

Happiness cannot be bought and the things that we want are not what we really need. If we can learn to question our wants we will find happiness.

For those who found this article helpful please email me at barnett10@gmail.com I will send you instructions on how you can pay me :)

Understanding XX

I tried to understand the psyche of the all so endearing XX being. But like all XY I have failed miserably. For those who are unaware of what these letters mean, please Google it. OK, back to my blog, I met a lot of women in all shapes and sizes and I also have a lot of good friends of this species, no matter how many times I try to comprehend what they want, I’m left baffled each time.

I just met a good friend of mine (K) and she is just a normal sweet girl with a few expectations, most very reasonable. She is one of the few women I’ve met, wait let me correct myself, she is the only girl I’ve met who is honest enough to say exactly just how she feels, something I really admire in any woman.

She thinks she expects too much from a guy or feels that she is being too rigid and I would agree with her to some extent, as most of her expectations are logical and some are just too rigid and need to be reconsidered.

My only recommendation is that she should reassess her qualifiers and maybe she will have a wider option. There is no guy in the universe that is perfect in every way. Mr Perfect doesn’t exist, and this is a FACT, I know this because even I have flaws, now getting back to my observations of the fairer sex.

Based on the number of interactions I have had with women and the innumerable conversations I have been part of, I have concluded that the reason why most women prefer bad guys is because they like challenges. I am generalizing here when I say women like men who they can mold and groom into a way they best see fit. They probably like the adrenalin rush when they finally tame that Neanderthal beast of a boyfriend.

Please note, I have used words like ‘most women’, ‘usually’, ‘probably’ so IF you are a girl don’t get into a hissy fit and say I’m biased and IF you are a guy, I really don’t care how you feel or what you think, just read on and hopefully you will understand women a little better.

Some simple rules every guy should know about a girl. 

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up.

Nothing: This means "something" and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" means you better find out what has pissed her off before it’s too late.

I’m OK: This means she is not OK and she needs to be emotionally supported. Now be aware, don’t try and push or force your support because this will make her even more upset than she really is. It’s a fine line knowing when to back off and when to keep pushing her to open up.

When a woman says:

"I'm not ready for a relationship..." OR "I think we should just be friends..."

What she really means is:

"You seem more like a brother or a 'nice guy' to me, and you're just not my type. There are no feelings of attraction. I don't feel any spark of chemistry, mostly because you don't seem all that exciting and I’m not into you”

Now don’t feel bad, it’s a fact just suck it up and move on. IF a woman is into you she will let you know.

So even if you are already aware of all these facts, it doesn’t give you a big advantage when dealing with the fairer sex. Man has been able to unscramble the DNA sequence, invent Nano technology, and has recently even found the “God particle” Higgs boson, however he will never be able to crack the mind of a woman.

I read this Joke sometime last month and it really drives home the point I have been trying to make.

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish". The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to." 

The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me". 

The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy?" 

After a few minutes God said, "How many lanes did you want on that bridge?"

What I also learned is that you need to wait for the right person to come along and the day you meet that person you will just know it. Your Soulmate is just around the corner. SoulMate