Monday 26 October 2015

"I've come too Far, I can't give up"

"I've come too Far, I can't give up"

I have often seen people make the biggest blunders of their life because they have either invested too much, emotionally or financially in a project or person. 

One should never give up when the chips are down, but one should also let common sense prevail when one sees warning signs.

This post is not to discourage anyone from getting married or quitting on something they have invested heavily in, it is post about doing what is right for yourself and listening to your inner voice.

Disclaimer: If you are offended or have other views, it's cool... don't read it. This is my and only my opinion

Now for the rest who still want to read further, let's continue...

The key difference between following a dream in spite of failure and calling it quits on a project or a person is execution of common sense. When you see, hear all the warning bells you need to alter the course of action. There is no point filling a bucket of water with a hole in it or trying to change the core belief or behaviour of a person. 

The reason I write this post is because I recently heard about someone who seems confused about marrying the person they have been with for a long time. 

Now let's just say if one spent time with someone for 6mths and if he/she started to have doubts, they would probably call it quits and move on. But the interesting fact over here is the longer time spent in the relationship, the hard it gets to make the decision to move on. 

Now this seems logical as the bonds of friendship, love etc. gets stronger over time. However let's add a twist of reality over here... the couple is sailing in troubled waters and each don't trust each other but because their relationship is out in the open and they had discussed marriage plans in front of friends and relatives they decide to get married. 

Reason: Fear of public ridicule, "what will people say", “Don’t want to embarrass my family" etc...
In my personal opinion which may mean jacksh** to some people, if you are unsure no matter how much time money and effort you have put in a relationship. You don't get married, period. The repercussions of taking such a decision can be catastrophic.

Marriage is a decision that needs to be taken when both (the guy and the girl) are sure about spending eternity with each other. 

You NEED to be sure. 

A decision made on factors such as - I'm getting too old and I need to settle down.
Let's have kids because my biological clock is ticking.
If she doesn't get married now, no one will marry her.

We have already paid for the wedding and have sent out invitations.

All this in my and only my opinion is absolutely ridiculous.

I'm not against marriage, but I feel that some people don't understand how serious that decision is and use the above excused to go ahead with something that they never wanted who heartedly in the first place.

Unfortunately I have been witness to a few such examples and in one instance I had told a friend (DO NOT DO IT) but it was done only to be undone a few miserable years later. Based on these examples I can tell you that, you will get those warning signals IF things aren’t right.

With regards to professional aspects such as projects investments etc some people get in too deep that it becomes impossible for them to have the courage to say "This is it". 

So my plea, to all out there who are in a situation where they are still invested in a professional or personal aspect of their life and are only in it because they have already invested too much. IF you feel that it's not right, cut the cord and move on.


  1. Yup. My feelings exactly. But my disclaimer would still be...invest first in trying to make it right...and isn't a solitary investment, but a both need to invest in making it work. 90 percent of the times when both partners take this seriously they coast through to calmer seas. But if that's time to smile, slip on your most comfortable sneakers and stride on...the search for a perfect partner isn't required when you love the sound of your footsteps. Ah...philosophical ;)

  2. Jamesy... I agree.
    It takes lots of guts to stand up and say sorry this isn't working. But this comes much much later... you first have to try and make things work/better (true, honest, committed efforts). If things still fail, like Ax said, “…put on your most comfy sneakers and stride one” 

  3. Absolutely! Marriage is a very important decision and the couple should give importance to their common sense and analyze the situation than thinking of other factors like 'what society will think and all'

    1. The problem is that common sense is not common :D