THAILAND THRILLER

My trip to Bangkok was packed with a lot of "life lessons," and I'm glad I learned from it.

My flight was smooth; there were only 30 of us on the plane, so after take-off, we could sit anywhere. I arrived at Bangkok Suvarnabhumi Airport at 6:30 a.m. and started my journey to Visa control.

I filled in my application and was about to submit my Visa when the guy asked me how much money I had. I told him I had USD 200 and a credit card. He said, "NOT ENOUGH, you need a minimum of USD 300 or TBH 10,000." I had about 15K in Indian currency, but INR is as good as toilet paper. I didn't have any more money, so I tried to withdraw TBH 5000 from my credit cards, but for some reason, it didn't work. (I later found out that ICICI systems were down that day.) I was in a fix; my tour operator hadn't told me I needed a certain amount of cash with me.

I walked around the airport for about 2.5 hours, trying every ATM and exchange point to see if any of my other cards would work, but no luck.

I felt like Tom Hanks in "The Terminal"!

I finally went back to the Visa control area and sat down, trying to figure out a way to make it out of the airport. Then I saw two Indians walking. I approached them and explained the situation, telling them I needed TBH 4000 for 10 minutes and would return the money as soon as I got my Visa. They had arrived from the UAE and didn't have any money with them either, but one of them withdrew TBH 24,000 from his credit card and gave me TBH 4000. I got my Visa processed, and after immigration check, I gave him his money back and also gave him TBH 200 for his help.

I finally got out of the airport at 10 a.m. I went to the meeting point, and no one was there. I met another tour operator and asked them to call my tour operator (I didn't have my international roaming activated, so I couldn't make or receive any calls). Finally, this lady said she would take care of everything and guided me to the bus. I sat down in the bus, relieved that this episode was finally over, and decided to click a snap of the airport... but my camera was not there.

OH NO, I had left it at Visa Control in all that commotion (to get a visa, you need a snap, and I had placed my camera down at the photo booth). I rushed back through the airport, through security and customs, and was out of breath. I told them I had left my camera. They asked me to describe it, and I GOT IT BACK!!!! WHEW!

I then rushed back to the bus, my legs aching from running all the way, and finally got into the bus. I clicked a snap of myself to remind me of this experience. After a 4-hour ride, I reached Pattaya, checked in, had a bath, and took a short nap. Around 3 p.m., I went to KFC for lunch. In Pattaya and Bangkok, they mostly have seafood and stuff I can't even pronounce, so I stuck to things I was familiar with. After lunch, I went to the shopping mall and just browsed around. I found some nice pencils with "Pattaya" written on them. I tried to bargain and paid 400 baht for 10 pencils, feeling proud of my bargaining skills as she had quoted 300 baht for 5. My happiness was short-lived when I went to the shopping mall and saw similar pencils for 90 baht (5). Damn, no more shopping on the street. I didn't find anything interesting, so I went to Starbucks and then back to my hotel. After another bath, I took another short nap.

In the evening, I went to Burger King, and NO, I didn't have a burger there. I had the same thing: 1 coke, fries, and chicken. Then I took a walk by the sea, snapped a few photos of the area and myself, and headed back to the hotel. I had another bath and finally called it a night.

As you will notice from the snaps and my narration of the trip, I had A LOT OF TIME on my hands. Looking on the positive side, I got plenty of sleep and had a lot of baths. I clicked every possible angle of my room and rearranged the mini bar so that everything would be in order. Anyway, this story does not end here... I know you must be thinking, "I wish it did." ...but prepare to be bored.

OK, so where did I stop... ah yes, the next day I went down for breakfast. It was supposed to be a buffet, so I was happy as the buffets I had back home were excellent with a wide variety.

I gave the busboy/waiter my coupon, and I sure did see a lot of variety, but none that I liked. They had rice and noodles for breakfast??? And eggs that still seemed to have some life in them. There were a few other dishes that seemed so fresh they were almost alive. They can surely claim that the food is fresh, and you can see it. So I settled for toast and tasteless butter, and a glass of juice (some juice). It was purple and sweet; I have no idea what I had.  

After a scrumptious breakfast I went back to the lobby as I was supposed to get a tour of Coral Island. I asked the receptionist what time it would be, and very confidently, she told me it was at 10 a.m. So I went back to my room, and yes, you guessed it, I had a bath. At 9:30 a.m., I went back to the lobby.

I waited, and it was 10:30, no phone call or pick-up. I checked with them again. That same very confident receptionist was as confused as a toddler in a university. Her expression stated that I had asked her to explain E = mc². I waited in the reception till 1 p.m. and then went back to my room. After another bath, I went back to the shopping mall. I picked up some keychains and souvenirs for my team, and after a lot of browsing and a quick bite at McDonald's, I went back to my hotel.

I spent the next day at the shopping mall, just sightseeing as I hadn't carried enough cash and didn't want to exhaust my credit card for fear of being stranded. So one more day in Pattaya, doing absolutely nothing. In fact, the only difference between doing nothing at home and doing nothing in a foreign country is that it costs a whole lot more.

The only English channel on TV was HBO, so I watched movies I would have never ever watched. I also tuned into the Thai news channel. You can imagine how desperate I was for entertainment.

The next day, I was supposed to leave for Bangkok from Pattaya. I was pleasantly surprised that my tour operator had left a message for me, telling me that I would get a pick-up at 11 a.m.

So the next day, I didn't bother to go and have the exquisite breakfast. I decided to go to KFC and then to Starbucks. I got up at 6 a.m., had a bath, and set out to eat my last meal in Thailand. I came back, had another bath, packed my bags, and checked out at 10 a.m. I waited and waited and waited some more… at 11:30, still no sign of this guy. I thought to myself, "Oh not again, what a disaster!!!!"

Then, out of the blue, like a ray of hope, I heard someone call out my room number. WOW!!!! YEAH... finally!!!!

I later discovered that the guy/driver was there at 11 a.m., but he was looking out for a Chinese man???? (I'm sure you’re confused) So was I.

They had distorted my name; I was now "Jeng Bong," far from James Barnett. So after a 4-hour ride, I arrived in Bangkok, where everything was Bang this and Bang that.

I stayed at the Hotel Unico Leela, a nice hotel; however, the corridors were only 3 feet wide. I clicked a few more snaps of my room, rearranged the mini bar, and had baths. In the afternoon, I went to Starbucks and then headed back to my hotel. Bangkok is more commercialized, with huge buildings and really busy streets.

I received a call from the main tour operator asking for some documents, so I told them they could collect them in the evening. At around 7 p.m., they arrived, looking around as if searching for someone. I approached them and introduced myself as James. They told me they thought I was British, as they had spoken to me over the phone and didn't realize I was Indian.

I then mentioned that I hadn't received the Coral Island tour. The tour operator apologized and offered to make it up by giving me another event, like an underwater world show or something.

The next day, I got a tour of the Buddhist temples. I am guessing that tour guide assigned to me was assigned last minute as she struggled to communicate, the only English words she knew were  “Look, see, there, here, wait, come, stay, I’ll be back, and thank you.” We mostly communicated through sign language. She however was very polite.

The Temple Tour was supposed to last three hours, but everything looked alike, so I managed to finish the entire tour in under 45 minutes.

There was a huge statue of Buddha made of 18k gold, which was awesome. Then there was an even bigger statue of the Reclining Buddha. I clicked some snaps there. This was the first place where someone else clicked a snap of me, as I was alone the other times.

I bought a cup of coins, made a wish, and dropped one coin in each bowl. Since we had plenty of time to spare, she took me to the Gems Gallery.

The Gems Gallery was nice; they showed me how they polish the stones and cut the gems, etc. Again, it was “all see, no buy.”

The tour of the Temples and Gems was done, and my tour guide had no idea what to do next. We had plenty of time and nowhere to go. I sensed she was also bored, so I told her I wanted to go back to my hotel.

She was happy as she got to go home half-day. I skipped the underwater tour as I wanted to spend some time shopping. I went back to my hotel, had a shower and walked to the nearest super mall.

I hadn't shaved in four days, and people kept mistaking me for someone from the Middle East.  They spoke to me in Arabic and kept giving me menus in Arabic.

The street where I stayed was surrounded by Eastern, European, and Indian restaurants—really nice.

I went to this massive shopping complex with nine levels. The ninth level was the food court, where I ate, and then I went down to each level. I saw some really nice things. The electronics were 40% cheaper than in India, but since I was carrying only one bag and didn't want to check in any luggage (to avoid waiting at the airport when I got back), I headed back to the hotel.

I stopped by 7-Eleven to get a packet of chips. All fish-flavored, no regular chips. Finally, I found a packet of regular chips. Whew!

I spent the evening packing all that I had bought (really little) neatly, then went out to dinner. After a bath, I went to sleep.

On the last day, I had a quick breakfast. This time, there were also fruits, so I had that. I checked out of my room and waited for my pick-up.

I went through customs, and surprisingly, they didn't bother to check my bags or search me (the regular security check).

That's all.

It was an experience for me. I'm sure it could have been better with some company.

Again, looking on the positive side, I did what I said I was going to do. I learned some very important lessons and got to see a new country. So no complaints.

Looking back at what happened, it wouldn't have been so exciting if everything had gone smoothly. That's what I keep telling myself.