Friday 11 January 2013

Kitchen War


I get up to hear things being thrown around in the kitchen, I walk in to find my dad in midst of an argument with an onion, before you pass judgement he is not crazy he is just as insane as I. He looks at me, gives me an evil grin and then picks up the diced onion and throws it the pan of hot oil and says, “that will teach you a lesson” as the onion sizzles away, you can hear screams "I'm sorry, never again, never again" and then there is silence. I’m sure that all future onions will withhold their sulfloxide if they ever encounter my dad.

I've lived with my dad long enough not to be surprised and wait for him to tell me his logical expression of displaced rage. While dicing onions, the release of sulfloxide burned his eyes and this was his way of getting back at them. If you do want to know what is the best way to prevent this irritation then go to this website Crying game

I couldn’t help but laugh at his inane justification, but I guess we all grow up doing stuff like this; it is hardwired into us as kids. I remember falling down and cutting myself and someone told me to hit the ground and admonish it, just to be clear this happened a long time ago when I was a kid, I thought I'd clarify.

I’m pretty sure that some of you can relate to this, I am sure that most people have reprimanded the furniture, tree, cycle, ground, stone or anything that caused them or their little angel pain.  

My dad loves to cook and fix stuff, and if you do happen to be present during one of his mishaps, you will get to see a tomato being beaten to a pulp, or a knife being demoted from cutting vegetables and meat to being used as a mixer for paint and when he’s fixing stuff you will get to see a poor little nail getting pounded.

We all take out our frustration on things that can’t fight back, like your keyboard that gets battered when your computer hangs during an important presentation or your car when it refuses to start. I guess we believe that by punishing the object it will mend it's ways and work. Trust me it never works.

I have learned that you can grow up all you want, but some habits stay with us forever. Now it time to hit my stupid phone that keeps rebooting.


  1. You know I never thought of it before, but I totally relate to this... I have told off my computer screen, told me little one to look for scars on the floor that she just fell on, and even gave my pressure cooker a time out for blowing a safety valve :)

  2. I think it's a feature built into us from the old times James, when we had to kick machinery to get it working again ;)