Saturday 12 January 2013

Telemarketers Vs James


Telemarketers Vs James
Have u ever taken that perfect nap, only to have your phone ring just as you've hit that sweet spot in the sleepy cycle.

On the other side you usually get the most annoying voice greet 'A very good afternoon to you' ‘myself Suresh calling from XYZ’. A telemarketer life is not easy and I understand that, as I was also once a telemarketer, however I knew when to push and when to just let the potential customer be.

When I receive such a call I thank the telemarketer and say I'm not interested. I am courteous as I know that they are just doing their job, however if they continue to annoy and get cheeky then I let them have it.

I don’t get into a fit of rage or abuse them; I start to sound genuinely interested and ask them all inane questions

Credit Cards / Loans
1. Do I need to pay the loan back
2. Can I take a 50 lac loan and pay Rs 1000 per month
3. Can I give you a fake address and we’ll split the loan 
4. Do you know how to pay Gin Rummy with Cards
5. Did you say Phone, Blown, Clone and then go to step 1

By this time they either hang up or some say sir that is not possible.  At times I ask them if they are interested in buying a second hand PC or my old pen drive.  I even offer heavy discounts but to no avail.

Holiday Packages/ Time Share

Sir are you single or married, if the caller is a male, I say sorry mate I don’t swing that way, If it’s a girl then I say I am but I need to get to know you better. Sadly most don’t get it.

If the conversation continues I ask them if they could convert my house into a holiday home or I ask them if they would like to come for a holiday with me.

99% of the time I don’t answer unknown numbers, I answer them now as I’m currently looking for a job.
Tip: - Don’t get mad at a telemarketer, If you are busy say you’re not interested and if they don’t heed say you’re currently overseas (this always works) If you have time to spare and have nothing to do, have fun.


  1. LOL! Haven't ever thought of such zany retorts. I do always say I'm not interested or that I am overseas. Having said that, not picking up the phone always works...except that sometimes its a friend come down from abroad whos in the city only for a day!

    1. My old samsung had an awesome feature of entering numbers into the reject list... the new ones don't have that feature.

  2. Ha ha ha... James, I do much the same. I remember this one time I asked the guy if I could have the credit card in the name of "King Ralston of Goa". He actually asked me if it was printed on any documents that way. I had to laugh!

    1. Lol that must have been hilarious... do write about your encounters with telemarketers

  3. Oh my god, I loved reading this! That sounds like so much fun. I get it though, I knew someone who worked in telemarketing and he'd tell me he hated his job because a lot of people would get angry and insult him. This sounds great though, I might do that next time I pick them up.

  4. Hey I missed this one earlier, good retorts :). I wanted to mention that there is a way of setting a Do Not Disturb feature similar to what you can for your mobile, for your landlines too - especially BSNL and MTNL, do google the same :).

  5. I get these telemarketing calls on on my cell phone not on the landline and the only reason I answer them is because I'm currently looking for a job. Once I get a job, I'm going to go back to answering numbers only on my contact list.