Shop-a-Rush

 Shop-a-Rush

I saw a friend’s status on Facebook stating that he went to exchange a shirt and bought 9 more. I could immediately relate to this. I have done many crazy things like this; I call it ‘shop-a-rush’

This impulsive desire to buy stuff while casually browsing or talking, walking, dreaming, driving, watching and the other ’-ings’ sends a normal, well-adjusted, level headed individual  into a must have mode.

Some of my shop-a-rush episodes date back to the 90’s, back then the condition was controlled by the lack of vitamin M. The intensity of the condition saw a steep rise once I started working. One of my 1^st big ticket items that I bought impulsively was my bike.

I went to Kurla with a friend and in less than 5mins; I made the down payment and walked out of the Bajaj showroom.  Before I continue, let me point out that some men also like to shop and it’s not a ‘Girl Thing’ the only difference is I believe that most guys shop way quicker than women.

In 2004, I was a loyal customer of Dockers, but since the clothes were expensive I wouldn’t buy more than 2, but this all changed when Dockers had a 50% sale, I went into the store and got a pair of pants and a shirt, however the pant given to me was the wrong size. I went back into the store…

10mins later I walked out with 12shirts and 6 pants. I still have some of them with their price tag on.

A couple of years later, my sister asked me to get her the sound of music DVD, So I went to town Planet M and got the DVD and was heading home, I stopped in Bandra to get something to eat and I then waked into an electronics store I think it was Metro, and I bought a new DVD player and a TV.

In 2009, I was on my way home from work and I walked into the Maruti Showroom to check the cost of a car, 10mins later I had booked my A-Star and 2 weeks I got my delivery.

Many years later, my dad wanted polish for his shoes and so we went to shoppers stop, we walked out of the store without the polish but with 4 pairs of shoes.  

So the above incidents of shop-a-rush are related, clothes + clothes, DVD + DVD player + TV, Shoe polish + shoes, intent of buying a car = Buying a car however sometimes it may not be related.

My sister asked me to get her some chocolates from Theobroma (Bandra) I got the chocolates and then decided to go to Croma and low and behold an LED TV.

At that moment when you are in the store it makes perfect sense to make that purchase, sometimes you look back and say I didn’t really have to get that right now.

Shopping I do believe is therapeutic however it needs to be controlled. 

As I write this I am looking at a box packed 32GB pen drive and about 20 packed movie DVD’s  and wondering why did I have to buy it at that time.

Follow the Leader

As I watch the cursor blink on the blank page, I try to reminisce about something interesting and poignant, but as I rifle through the deepest recesses of my mind, every thought both past present and future seems to link to my quest of getting a job.

It’s been exactly 3 months since I quit and my hunt for a new job is proving to be quite a pain in the Gluteus Maximus. 

I have however consciously decided to steer clear of writing about my job hunt as I have already covered that topic in my previous posts.

I went over to a friend’s place yesterday and we were talking about tradition and rules. It is surprising how some people follow rules to a ‘T’ and are absolutely clueless why they are doing such an activity. 

They never question the task or purpose of that action. I have seen this irrational behavior manifest itself abundantly at malls, restaurants and even in a big multinational.

Post the terror attacks, every mall has ‘Beefed up’ security, so before entering a mall you are required to go through a security check. If you walk in, then you are patted down and the women have to get their handbags scanned.  

If you drive to the mall the security will ask you to open the boot and the hood and post that they let you go. They never check, in the car or have a bomb squad dog check the car.

Now if I was looking to cause some serious harm, why in the world would I put a bomb in the boot or the hood of the car? It would be easier to carry it in the car. When you go to a company, they only check the boot of the car. So how secure are you really?

On the other hand I have seen a display of great security at the Taj, they have sniffer dogs and they do check your car thoroughly, even the body and bag scan is thorough. 

Some might argue stating that with the amount of footfall malls have each day, it’s not practical to conduct an exhaustive scan for each person. My argument here is if you are conducting an activity you should do it well, or not do it at all.

At some restaurants, the staff will wear gloves to prevent bacteria from spreading, however while wearing those sanitized gloves they will handle used plates and then food. So the point of using the gloves ceases to exist.

At work, at times you are required to create a report on your team or departments performance. Sometimes the frequency of this report may become a daily affair if your team or department is not doing well, or the project you are managing is new.

However when the business stabilizes or the process changes some the reports are not required but still get generated day after day consuming precious man hours. 

I remember an extremely time consuming activity that was done, because it was in the process, however no one bothered to question why we were still doing that activity. 

I have always challenged decisions or sought clarity why I doing a certain task, I could never get myself to follow something that didn’t make sense. If you are a leader or a person in power, encourage the people you work with, to challenge decisions, if they feel it doesn't make sense. 

If people start questioning the 'Status Quo' and use their head, our city and our businesses will do a lot better.

No Touching - Brumotactillophobia

This post is not about touching a rare dinosaur in a museum, it’s a post about my food phobia as a child. If you have read my previous post ‘Old Man’ you would not be surprised as, I had certain oddities as a kid. There were specific rules I followed diligently during meal time, let's just call it my meal mantra.

I had my own plate with my name engraved on it and no one would dare touch that plate. I had a specific fork and spoon and the same rules applied. I had other rules which I have explained in details in the following posts Things I Eat and How and Gastronomical Idiosyncrasies.

The rule of 3 drops of gravy was short lived, and I became less fussy over the years, however between the ages of 4 – 7 I was an absolute pain. Let me set this up for you, if I was eating chicken, fries, rice and chicken gravy. Then rule no 1, stated that the fries and the chicken should not touch, if you find this confusing, don’t bother to read anymore.

I love fish and chicken, however I would not or could not get myself to eat them at the same time. (same meal)  I could not bear to see a piece of chicken and fish in the same plate. I am sure you are wide eyed right now, wondering what a weird kid I was. I had these rules for a reason, which was logical only to me. 

My reasoning behind this odd condition was that, if the chicken touched the fish then the taste would get compromised. However if I ate them separately I would get to fully experience the flavors individually. It does sound like a plausible argument, well at least to me.

I was reading an article on the Internet and I realized that I was not the only weird person on the planet. This condition has a name and it's called brumotactillophobia, it’s a food-related phobia of food touching other food.

Over the years I have improved considerably and although I do not suffer from brumotactillophobia anymore, I still have a few quirks.

There are some rules I still follow till today, I don’t let anyone eat from my plate or sip from my glass, except my girl friend. It's not that I feel they are infested with some deadly bacteria, I just don't like it. What I do, is request them to get another glass or a plate. 

During birthday's it is customary for the birthday boy or girl to cut a piece of cake and give all the close family members and friends a bite. I however I can't and won't participate in that act of sharing DNA. The only person on the planet who will be allowed to eat stuff from my plate or share my food will be my girlfriend. 

So if you ever offer me a bite of your sandwich or cake, don’t be offended if I refuse.

Old Man

Growing up was pretty stressful, well stressful for people living with me. I have however improved to a great degree in the past 3 decades. I don’t know what elicited these quirks but had it not been for them I would had nothing to write about. I was thoroughly spoiled as a kid, that’s what my sisters tell me and looking back I think, I did get whatever I wanted, well almost.

We had two Au pairs and a maid, and they did spoil me, I got my favorite food every day, right down to specifics, 3 drops of gravy, on rice not 4, not 2…but 3; weird huh? I still can’t believe that they complied with my unusual requests.

I did have a lot of quirks; I have out grown most of them over time. One that made absolutely no sense and is still baffling till today was my belief that I would become an old man if my maid touched my clothes.

Ok, I’ll give you a moment to read that again and another minute more to absorb what I just wrote. I was 4 years old and whenever my maid touched my clothes, I would get upset and say “you made me an old man” I do not know for how long this quirkiness lasted but let’s just say only my mum and my Au pairs could dress me.

As I grew older, I out grew this odd behavior developed new ones. Now let me just say that some of them were actually a blessing for my mum. From the age of 7 to 15 I never let anyone wash or iron my clothes. My shirts had to be ironed correctly; every seam had to be in place... I did spend a lot of time ironing clothes.

I grew older I developed some other quirks but let’s leave that for another post.

 

Alien

With the Communication Device set in place, I tinkered with the antenna and adjusted the frequency, the signal was weak, I could hear something in the background tried to decrypt the celestial mumble, but there was too much static, a few adjustments and suddenly it was clear, a voice boomed “You are listening to 98.2 FM”, No this can’t be right! … I was puzzled and disappointed. The satellite radio didn’t work. I was expecting to reach people from my planet Neptune.

Now before you think I should dial down the crazy, let me just say my childhood was filled with such crazy stories and adventure, thanks to television and my sisters. I was led to believe that I was adopted and my birth mother and father were from Neptune. 

Shocked? Perplexed? …Well that’s what you get when you have sisters who are way older than you; let’s just call it sibling hazing. I was 6years old and very gullible, unlike kids today. I was at an impressionable age, watching Superman, Star trek and E.T. made it a lot easier for my sisters to convince me that I was adopted and from another planet.

I was so convinced that I was an alien, I wore a pair of silver gumboots throughout the year. 

I have always been interested in finding out if there is life beyond earth in some distant galaxy, I was fascinated by space and I wanted to become an astronaut, however math was not my best friend and apparently that is required.

So getting back to the story, I firmly believed that I was sent by my birth parents to earth to serve a purpose, something I am still trying to figure out; the purpose and not that I was sent by aliens. So a story combination of superman and E.T. encourage me to contact my planet (Neptune)

Armed with a radio, Foil, a hanger, and a plate, I created my ‘Communication Device’, well apparently E.T contacted his planet, so how hard could it be? My fantasy was short lived when after 2 hours in the backyard and surfing through numerous radio stations, my mum called me in for dinner.

My 1st Love

Date:-13 July 2005, Time: - 15:59:21 Seconds… It has been 3 Years 2 Months 9 Days, 3 Hours, 12 Minutes and 2 Seconds and counting…since I first dated her. I would not call it love at first sight, but I had seen her, a couple of years ago but I did not have the courage to approach her, nor did I have the money to entertain her. I got my first big break when I had joined a call center, the money was decent and that is when I realized that it was now or never. 

I went to kurla to meet her. I had gone with a friend of mine, as I was not too sure, what would happen. It was precisely 7:30pm, we finally met her and we were on our way home when she got upset and refused to talk, after a lot of coaxing, and questioning we found out that she needed something to drink as she was very tired, so after a quick refill, we went to my place.

She has always been a little moody, but I guess you can expect that, from any girl (No offense to the women), she was a bit possessive, and would refuse to speak or interact with any other guy, unless I was around, or if I had introduced her to him. I could not complain I rather liked that.

I still remember when I went to Australia last year, she was so upset when I got back, because I did not let her know that I was not going to be with her for 3 weeks, nor did I ask about her. I guess I took things for granted. I can still remember the day as it was yesterday, she was so angry, it made Mount Etna seem like a minuscule spark. She just refused to speak to me for days. I bought her gifts, but it was of no use. Nevertheless, I knew that in her heart she loved me. A week later, after apologizing a million times, she finally relented.

We were back, since that day I have never neglected her. However lately, I have got bored and I guess the spark in our relationship needs to be rekindled. So this Saturday I am taking her to the Kawasaki Bajaj Auto Center in Kurla to give her a complete makeover.

Acceptance

Appreciation, acceptance, and to be valued are some of the intrinsic needs of every human being.

We all want to be accepted, valued and appreciated; it gives us a feeling of self-respect and a feeling that we are worthwhile. Acceptance means we can be ourselves. We all have room for improvement, we have the potential to grow as socially well adjusted individuals, however when someone accepts you for who you are, that growth is not forced upon you. 

The potential to develop and do well can be either suppressed or encouraged by the people we surround ourselves with, therefore it is very important for us to surround ourselves with people who will help us grow.

Being coddled is the opposite of acceptance, not expecting anything form a person is tantamount to killing him. People who do not get acceptance will seek this acceptance through various means. 

This innate human desire to feel loved and appreciated sometimes rears its ugly head.

The pompous friend or colleague has probably never been accepted and thus feels the need to seek this grandeur by boasting.

Some on the other hand are eager to please and will do anything and everything to be liked by everyone. This stems from a feeling of insecurity.

My advice is to you is pick your friends carefully, introspect and get in touch with your feelings. 

Learn to love yourself, not don't get any kinky ideas, I am referring to self love, that is treating yourself with the same respect, compassion, tolerance, and generosity you would shower on a very close friend.

Trust your own feelings, Self-worth requires that you learn to listen to and rely upon your own feelings and not automatically respond to the feelings of other people. Learn to draw the line when you feel uncomfortable, this will set the boundaries, it helps identify what works best for you.

Make your own decisions, if you let others make a difference you will automatically start to rely on what others think. Your life will be run by people who will make decisions for you. Now you may have selected people who are only looking for your best interest and the decisions that they have made for you has always been good. However once these decision makers disappear, you will be left alone and indecisive. 

Value yourself and your time and don't judge your self-worth by your financial status. It's important to introspect and be the best that we can be and not live life based on what others think we should be.

Power to You :)

 

Soulmate Search

The festive season elicits warmth and altruism. The season sparks youthfulness and good cheer. The magic of the season brings friends and family together. For me it’s a time to brush up on my “change the topic” skill. For all my single friends over 25, you know what I am talking about. 

At a wedding you will often hear, now your next, it's a pity we can't say the same at a funeral, lest it be perceived as too rude or insensitive.  Once you do happen to meet someone, the next question is when are you getting married?

If you are newly married, people will ask you “when will we hear some good news” it means when are you going to copulate without protection? - Making it favorable to create a baby.

For many years some of my family members thought I was batting for the same team, as I never spoke about any girl, I was just too shy and I didn't talk about my crushes with my family. 

They were relieved when I got into a relationship, however that didn’t work out and a year later I was single again. During the 1st month of my relationship I was asked by some people "when I was going to get married"

Now I am almost 30 (that’s what I believe and I am sticking to it) and whenever I get the privilege to meet some of my wonderful and nosey relatives or acquaintances, I get bombarded with questions.

So when are you getting married? Why don’t you have a girlfriend? Why are you still single?

I am not some hot eligible bachelor who is playing the field and has a line of girls just waiting to marry me. I am just a regular average guy who has had terrible luck meeting his soul mate. 

Some people take it upon themselves to look out for a good girl. Well I have not heard from them.

I have never been averse to meeting women and seeing where thing may lead, but the conundrum I face is deciphering the line that separates “I like you as a friend and I like you ++” 

In my previous post, I have written about how I have failed to identify when a girl is just being friendly and when she means friendly ++, in my experience I have only witnessed the “just being friendly” signs hence the confusion.

IF you have not read my previous posts then I suggest that you do read them. Understanding X

My theory states that IF you like a girl and she is happy in your presence you should be upfront and tell her how you feel.  It is a lot simpler and avoids the awkwardness later. This brings me to the qualities I look for in a woman, my list is reasonable and logical. 

1. A woman and ONLY a woman will do NO exceptions

2. Someone who truly loves me for me and accepts all my idiosyncrasies

3. Someone who I can connect with on an intellectual /emotional level

4. Someone who will not give up on our relationship if hits a rough patch

5. I should be able carry her (I can carry up to 80kgs/178lbs)*

6. Someone who will not take advantage of my, kindness and generosity.

So if you see my list is not an extensive list, it doesn’t list eye colour, race, or religion. Option 5 is not a priority but it’s a nice to have, what is also nice to have is someone who is good looking, and I say this out of sheer concern for my future kid, if we choose to have one.

My argument is very logical and it is my pre paternal instinct that makes me want the best for my child. I am aware that I don't have the best features and If my future wife is on par or average with regards to looks, what chance will our future kid have.

So to give my kid a fighting chance, I need a girl who is slightly above average in the looks department, again this is not a must have but a good to have. 

I have connected with very few women on an intellectual /emotional level; however these women liked me as just a friend and those who "liked" me eventually realized that they liked me as just a friend. I've been relegated to the friend zone so many times, I've got discounted season pass.

I've had the ooops "I'm so sorry, I thought I had feelings for you, but I realized that I don't feel like that way. I'm really sorry...you are a wonderful person, don't change...we can still be friends"  or the classic, “you are a wonderful human being with a golden heart, I care about you a lot, however I cannot reciprocate the love as I am not capable of doing this, I want you to be happy so, we can only be friends” conversations a couple of times and believe me it's not something I want to hear. 

You can read about how I am from one the recent posts I've written. I am ME

I do not get flattered anymore if someone says I am nice, or sweet, or caring, cause in the end all I get is someone who just wants to be friends, so if you are an eligible girl and IF and only IF you are dead seriously interested in me, make a move or else just be honest from the start. 

I am OK with someone telling me that they like me as a friend only and nothing more, I respect that, what I don't appreciate is someone testing waters and making me believe that they do really care when they are just waiting for a better option. 

In this day and age some people think that everything can be tried, tested and returned once they are bored or suddenly realize that they aren't 'feeling it'. Some late night commercials have a 15 day money back guarantee policy, but I am not a “product” and I don't intend to be treated like one.

I have left the whole soul mate searching to destiny. I’m done trying to understand if a girl likes me or not. I am done giving it my all and getting the return to sender stamp. I am no longer the nice guy who will be the stand by option or the spare charger.

In the meantime I am focusing on enjoying life to its fullest and leaving the rest to fate.

I read a very interesting quote which says "Don't search for your soul mate, God will send them to you when you are both ready"

So the next time someone asks me why I am still single, I'm going to tell them to ask God. :)